Celebrity Chef Fan Gifts

Schoolgirl in canteen: 'The food's great but I wish they'd stop calling it 'pukka tukka'.'

"@#!!!%$ the critics!! Give me Bobby $#@!! Flay!!"

'I hope you like this, dear. I got the recipe from Gordon Ramses, latest cookery hieroglyphics.'

'By the time I'd watched Delia and Ainsley and Jamie Oliver and Floyd...I'd spoiled the broth.'

'Just call me Delia...'

'Madam, we do not discuss Julia Child at Maison Henri.'

'There's a Mr. Oliver to see you. Says he can save the world.'

John Toroda and Gregg Wallace

"The George Foreman! I've got just the thing."

"It's exactly how Jamie Oliver would make it if he couldn't afford half the ingredients either!"

"Jamie Oliver, Gordon Ramsey, Master Chef, The Hairy Bikers and Bake Off - that's your five a day - now get to bed!"

Cooking without Jamie Oliver

Emeril John Lagassé III caricature

Michael Symon

"I have no idea what, hic, went wrong. I did everything, hic, Mario Batali said."

"I specialise in themed dinners 'Titanic', 'Armageddon' , 'Towering Inferno'..."

'See? You call my look 'a midlife crisis' but for these guys it's a major TV series.'

'Dinner will be ready soon -- the submarine sandwiches are soaking now.'

"Yes, he is a celebrity chef, but he doesn't have any opinions on Iraq."

'Now time for a coffee while hubby cleans up the mess.'

"If Sinatra had eaten here he'd have loved it."

How I met your mother

'Wait, wait, before you mix them, you have to say, 'Pow!'.'

"Well, he's a celebrity chef and the celebreties love his cooking."

The Good Feud Guide - 'Delia Smith does a nice roasted Worrall-Thompson.'

Skyscraper Chef's Hat.

TV Chef Cooking Range

Chef's Specials - Hissy Fits, Shouting and Swearing, Pompus Indigestion.

Woman reads Nigella Lawson cook book: 'Add butter to the mixture, remembering to moisten your lips ... whisk for three to four minutes, pouting throughout ...'

'Have you been using that Hairy Bikers cookbook again'

'Celeb Foods: Damien Hurst's voles in brine.'

'Nobody does curses like Gordon Ramsay.'

"When Picasso was hungry he would swap a painting for a meal. Times change. I am a celebrity chef..."

"Your mom's a very special person."

"Look at the size of this gas bill - you'll have to get rid of some of those celebrity chefs!!"