Celebrity Chef Fangirl Gifts

'I'm afraid we only publish A list celebrity cookbooks.'

"I have no idea what, hic, went wrong. I did everything, hic, Mario Batali said."

'I hope you like this, dear. I got the recipe from Gordon Ramses, latest cookery hieroglyphics.'

"I specialise in themed dinners 'Titanic', 'Armageddon' , 'Towering Inferno'..."

'See? You call my look 'a midlife crisis' but for these guys it's a major TV series.'

'Dinner will be ready soon -- the submarine sandwiches are soaking now.'

'Now time for a coffee while hubby cleans up the mess.'

"If Sinatra had eaten here he'd have loved it."

"Yes, he is a celebrity chef, but he doesn't have any opinions on Iraq."

How I met your mother

TV Chef Cooking Range

The Good Feud Guide - 'Delia Smith does a nice roasted Worrall-Thompson.'

"Well, he's a celebrity chef and the celebreties love his cooking."

Skyscraper Chef's Hat.

Chef's Specials - Hissy Fits, Shouting and Swearing, Pompus Indigestion.

Woman reads Nigella Lawson cook book: 'Add butter to the mixture, remembering to moisten your lips ... whisk for three to four minutes, pouting throughout ...'

'Have you been using that Hairy Bikers cookbook again'

"When Picasso was hungry he would swap a painting for a meal. Times change. I am a celebrity chef..."

'Nobody does curses like Gordon Ramsay.'

Emeril John Lagassé III caricature

Cooking without Jamie Oliver

'Celeb Foods: Damien Hurst's voles in brine.'

Stand back - while I whip something up

"It's not he worst meal I've ever eaten, that was your dinner yesterday."

'By the time I'd watched Delia and Ainsley and Jamie Oliver and Floyd...I'd spoiled the broth.'

"@#!!!%$ the critics!! Give me Bobby $#@!! Flay!!"

Schoolgirl in canteen: 'The food's great but I wish they'd stop calling it 'pukka tukka'.'

'Sorry, viewers, I was going to show you one I made earlier but it's been scoffed by the second assistant sound engineer.'

'And stir to a smooth consistency.'

'Madam, we do not discuss Julia Child at Maison Henri.'

"You've actually done something even Gordon Ramsay can't do-burn the salad!"

'There's a Mr. Oliver to see you. Says he can save the world.'

"It's still stew but the celebrity chef wants to call it a deconstructed steak and ale pie with a dusting of salt in a brown sauce coulis."

'Just call me Delia...'

Emeril Lagasse