Fan Of Celebrity Chefs T-Shirts

'Hello - is that Jamie Oliver?'

"I have no idea what, hic, went wrong. I did everything, hic, Mario Batali said."

'I hope you like this, dear. I got the recipe from Gordon Ramses, latest cookery hieroglyphics.'

"I specialise in themed dinners 'Titanic', 'Armageddon' , 'Towering Inferno'..."

'See? You call my look 'a midlife crisis' but for these guys it's a major TV series.'

'Now time for a coffee while hubby cleans up the mess.'

"If Sinatra had eaten here he'd have loved it."

How I met your mother

"Yes, he is a celebrity chef, but he doesn't have any opinions on Iraq."

'Wait, wait, before you mix them, you have to say, 'Pow!'.'

TV Chef Cooking Range

The Good Feud Guide - 'Delia Smith does a nice roasted Worrall-Thompson.'

Skyscraper Chef's Hat.

"It said on the packet the pasta should act as a vehicle for the sauce."

"Well, he's a celebrity chef and the celebreties love his cooking."

Chef's Specials - Hissy Fits, Shouting and Swearing, Pompus Indigestion.

Woman reads Nigella Lawson cook book: 'Add butter to the mixture, remembering to moisten your lips ... whisk for three to four minutes, pouting throughout ...'

'Celeb Foods: Damien Hurst's voles in brine.'

"When Picasso was hungry he would swap a painting for a meal. Times change. I am a celebrity chef..."

Emeril John Lagassé III caricature

'Have you been using that Hairy Bikers cookbook again'

'Nobody does curses like Gordon Ramsay.'

Cooking without Jamie Oliver

'I'm afraid we only publish A list celebrity cookbooks.'

"You've actually done something even Gordon Ramsay can't do-burn the salad!"

'Sorry, viewers, I was going to show you one I made earlier but it's been scoffed by the second assistant sound engineer.'

"@#!!!%$ the critics!! Give me Bobby $#@!! Flay!!"

Schoolgirl in canteen: 'The food's great but I wish they'd stop calling it 'pukka tukka'.'

'By the time I'd watched Delia and Ainsley and Jamie Oliver and Floyd...I'd spoiled the broth.'

'Just call me Delia...'

Emeril Lagasse

'And stir to a smooth consistency.'

'Madam, we do not discuss Julia Child at Maison Henri.'

'There's a Mr. Oliver to see you. Says he can save the world.'

"It's still stew but the celebrity chef wants to call it a deconstructed steak and ale pie with a dusting of salt in a brown sauce coulis."