Family Law Professional Gifts

The Gayhorns

'Am I being too suspicious or do you think it's possible that they're crooked?'

'Whe they said 'God is my Judge', I didn't realize He was a real attorney.'

Solicitor speaks legal jargon and has a translator who tells client: 'You haven't a hope!'

"We have three house blends: 'One More Chance', 'Forget About It' or 'I'll See You In Fun Court'."

"No, I didn't steal your content. I just have your content's doppleganger."

'This is my partner. He'll be taking care of the small print.'

"No, of course there isn't, 'one law for the rich and another for the poor'... There's no law for the poor."

Vehicles are having their own election. These are the candidates. The ambulance appeals to voters who think health care is most important. Voters focusing on education issues favor the school bus. And those wanting family-friendly policies are backing the minivan. The tractor is an expert on agricultural issues, and the import is a free trade advocate. Those voters concerned about environmental issues like the electric hybrid, and those wanting a strong military support the Jeep. What's t

"Some day, son, all this will be your ex-wife's."

"Our new associate asks how much of a fee is too much. Do you want to handle this or shall I laugh in his face?"

The Circular Logic of Fascism

'So Captain Ahab, I put it to you that you were deliberately stalking my client!'

Cat and dog at a will reading.

"As the executor for your mother's estate, let me say that she loved each of you, but she also loved Las Vegas."

Barristers

"Hey, I just figured out how to sue the school for loss of my prime childbearing years."

"Must everything with you be a landmark decision?"

'I'm being sent back. I told you I have a great attorney.'

"You're 5 years old now, Timmy. It's about time you retain an attorney."

Junior barrister prompting a deaf and testy chief

'Normally, I hate a rush to judgement - but I'm doing this case pro bono.'

'I'd like your permission to enter into pre-nuptial negotiations...'

'Of course, I'm argumentative.. I'm PRE-LAW, for goodness sake!'

"And my client will be seeking significant damages for being mistakenly placed in the naughty column!"

New York Corruption - Auditor Watson's Death, and Suspicions on Broadway Works Project

"Now that I've swung back to depression, I'm truly sorry for what I did when I was manic."

'So, come back in fifteen minutes?...Twenty?'

"We're slapping you with a stress suit, pal!"

Fifty shades of Leveson.

'Dad, when do I stop being a wholly owned subsidy of you and Mom?'

"Y'know, I don't know what I'd do without her, but I'd sure like to find out."

'Wow! I never before saw such a strenuous objection.'

'Your Honor, in order to avoid being sued, we find the defendant 'Not guilty.''

Jester Surgeon