Family Law Professional Pillows

'Am I being too suspicious or do you think it's possible that they're crooked?'

Solicitor speaks legal jargon and has a translator who tells client: 'You haven't a hope!'

"No, I didn't steal your content. I just have your content's doppleganger."

"We have three house blends: 'One More Chance', 'Forget About It' or 'I'll See You In Fun Court'."

'This is my partner. He'll be taking care of the small print.'

"No, of course there isn't, 'one law for the rich and another for the poor'... There's no law for the poor."

"Our new associate asks how much of a fee is too much. Do you want to handle this or shall I laugh in his face?"

"Some day, son, all this will be your ex-wife's."

'So Captain Ahab, I put it to you that you were deliberately stalking my client!'

Cat and dog at a will reading.

"As the executor for your mother's estate, let me say that she loved each of you, but she also loved Las Vegas."

Barristers

"Hey, I just figured out how to sue the school for loss of my prime childbearing years."

"Must everything with you be a landmark decision?"

'I'm being sent back. I told you I have a great attorney.'

"You're 5 years old now, Timmy. It's about time you retain an attorney."

'Normally, I hate a rush to judgement - but I'm doing this case pro bono.'

Junior barrister prompting a deaf and testy chief

'I'd like your permission to enter into pre-nuptial negotiations...'

'Of course, I'm argumentative.. I'm PRE-LAW, for goodness sake!'

"And my client will be seeking significant damages for being mistakenly placed in the naughty column!"

New York Corruption - Auditor Watson's Death, and Suspicions on Broadway Works Project

'Wow! I never before saw such a strenuous objection.'

"Now that I've swung back to depression, I'm truly sorry for what I did when I was manic."

Jester Surgeon

Fifty shades of Leveson.

"Y'know, I don't know what I'd do without her, but I'd sure like to find out."

'Your Honor, in order to avoid being sued, we find the defendant 'Not guilty.''

'Dad, when do I stop being a wholly owned subsidy of you and Mom?'

"We're slapping you with a stress suit, pal!"

'So, come back in fifteen minutes?...Twenty?'

Lawyer to bad hair lady: 'It's difficult to establish pain and suffering based on a bad hair day.'