Family Lawyer Gifts

'We should've just dropped off our lists and taken our chances. But no, you had to bring a lawyer into the negotiations.'

'I'd like your permission to enter into pre-nuptial negotiations...'

Rabbit Divorces: 'No you get custody.'

'Look dear - a prenuptial disagreement.'

'I'm sorry, but I have to let you go. Your mother got custody.'

'I'd like to return this, it turns out my wife bought one last week.'

'We're totally against smacking but not adverse to 'moderate punishment.''

"How sweet...Our first divorce! I'm so glad we got to share this special moment together."

Divorce Court: High Five Area.

Guardianship of minors

'Everyone does divorces, Mrs.Dawson.'

"I know you're anxious, but the minute I agreed to the divorce, did you have to stand up and holler 'is there an attorney in the house'?"

'Wow! Your wife's lawyer was really good, wasn't he?'

'He followed me home. Can we retain him?'

"I'm sorry but, legally, there is no way you can get divorces from your parents."

"Oh come on, already! One of you has to take custody of the children!"

"Your wife gets custody of the children."

"Yes, I suppose the towel with his on it is something, but I had hoped for a better settlement."

"I see they've privatised the fostering and adoption service."

'Hell hath no furry like the lawyer of a woman scorned.'

'Mr. Rock and Mrs. Hardplace are here, sir.'

'They're fighting over who gets custody of the electronic devices.'

Luke Skywalker- Matrimonial Law

'Leave everything in our hands, we specialize in his fault divorces.'

"Some day, son, all this will be your ex-wife's."

"I'm sorry, Jim. Due to a paperwork error, you now have custody of my kids."

"I was having trouble putting it into words, frank, but it's all in the divorce papers."

"In addition to the alimony, she wants seven thousand a month support for the child within her."

"When the divorce is final, Carl, and I've taken you for all you're worth, I hope we can still be friends."

"It's not good, Jack. She's after the house, the condo, custody, half your retirement $ 12,000 a month and she still wants a pound of flesh."

"Y'know, I don't know what I'd do without her, but I'd sure like to find out."

Trial by Media

Enhanced Pedophilia Interrogation Techniques

"Obama didn’t get to name a Supreme Court justice during his final year. So how come Trump does?"

"You're fired."