Family Law Attorney Gifts

'Hell hath no furry like the lawyer of a woman scorned.'

Come Back Sloane

"We have three house blends: 'One More Chance', 'Forget About It' or 'I'll See You In Fun Court'."

"Some day, son, all this will be your ex-wife's."

'I'd like your permission to enter into pre-nuptial negotiations...'

"Y'know, I don't know what I'd do without her, but I'd sure like to find out."

'Of course I hired Andrew. He's the best divorce lawyer around! Unfortunately, he's also the rat I want to get divorced from...'

'At first I was grounded, but my lawyer was able to plea bargain it down to 30 minutes in the Time Out Chair.'

'According to your pre-nuptial agreement. If you divorce her, you'll turn back into a frog.'

"After six marriages I learnt my lesson and married my divorce lawyer."

"Phil, honey, do you ever think about taking our relationship to the next level?"

A rare picture of Henry VIII's divorce lawyer.

'You've got Mr & Mrs Smith at 2.00, Mr & Mrs Jones at 2.30, and at 3.00 your wife has made an appointment with a Divorce Lawyer!'

Joint Ventures!

'I'm with my minister father and my senator mom through the week and my senator mom through the week. I'm the ultimate division between Church and State.'

"I'll bet there's a story there."

"We'll make your wedding reception perfect, and don't forget you get a money-saving coupon for any future divorce parties."

"Well, we can try. But to be honest, I doubt that you'll get custody of your husband's credit cards."

"You'll hear from my lawyer."

"Can you recommend something for the attorney who got me everything?"

"When, in the course of human events, it becomes necessary for one person to dissolve the marital bonds which have connected her with another..."

"Love is grand... divorce is a hundred grand."

John McWit, Divorce Lawyer & Celibate,

"He snores from October to May!"

"It's not good, Jack. She's after the house, the condo, custody, half your retirement $ 12,000 a month and she still wants a pound of flesh."

'Busting balls since 1983.'

'Perhaps we should leave details of the divorce settlement until after we are married.'

"I do corporate, divorce, and malpractice, but I'm most familiar with leash laws."

'... And just in case it doesn't work out, here's my card. I'm also a very good divorce lawyer.'

'The divorce was ugly, but not as ugly as the marriage.'

Family courts.

'Dear editor, today I saw the first cuckold of spring...' (Divorce Lawyer).

"I submit to the committee the document of your unfinished screenplay, is it your testimony today that you told your wife it would be finished by now?"

'If you dislike the term divorce that much, then just think of it as downsizing the time you spend together.'