Family Law Attorney Gifts

'Hell hath no furry like the lawyer of a woman scorned.'

Come Back Sloane

"We have three house blends: 'One More Chance', 'Forget About It' or 'I'll See You In Fun Court'."

"Some day, son, all this will be your ex-wife's."

Vehicles are having their own election. These are the candidates. The ambulance appeals to voters who think health care is most important. Voters focusing on education issues favor the school bus. And those wanting family-friendly policies are backing the minivan. The tractor is an expert on agricultural issues, and the import is a free trade advocate. Those voters concerned about environmental issues like the electric hybrid, and those wanting a strong military support the Jeep. What's t

'I'd like your permission to enter into pre-nuptial negotiations...'

"Y'know, I don't know what I'd do without her, but I'd sure like to find out."

'At first I was grounded, but my lawyer was able to plea bargain it down to 30 minutes in the Time Out Chair.'

'According to your pre-nuptial agreement. If you divorce her, you'll turn back into a frog.'

'Of course I hired Andrew. He's the best divorce lawyer around! Unfortunately, he's also the rat I want to get divorced from...'

"After six marriages I learnt my lesson and married my divorce lawyer."

Luke Skywalker- Matrimonial Law

"Phil, honey, do you ever think about taking our relationship to the next level?"

Joint Ventures!

'You've got Mr & Mrs Smith at 2.00, Mr & Mrs Jones at 2.30, and at 3.00 your wife has made an appointment with a Divorce Lawyer!'

A rare picture of Henry VIII's divorce lawyer.

"Well, we can try. But to be honest, I doubt that you'll get custody of your husband's credit cards."

'I'm with my minister father and my senator mom through the week and my senator mom through the week. I'm the ultimate division between Church and State.'

"I'll bet there's a story there."

"You'll hear from my lawyer."

"We'll make your wedding reception perfect, and don't forget you get a money-saving coupon for any future divorce parties."

"Can you recommend something for the attorney who got me everything?"

"Love is grand... divorce is a hundred grand."

John McWit, Divorce Lawyer & Celibate,

'Perhaps we should leave details of the divorce settlement until after we are married.'

"He snores from October to May!"

'Busting balls since 1983.'

"It's not good, Jack. She's after the house, the condo, custody, half your retirement $ 12,000 a month and she still wants a pound of flesh."

It went even worse than I expected - She got custody of the kids and me.

"When, in the course of human events, it becomes necessary for one person to dissolve the marital bonds which have connected her with another..."

"I do corporate, divorce, and malpractice, but I'm most familiar with leash laws."

'... And just in case it doesn't work out, here's my card. I'm also a very good divorce lawyer.'

'Dear editor, today I saw the first cuckold of spring...' (Divorce Lawyer).

'The divorce was ugly, but not as ugly as the marriage.'

Family courts.