Family Law Specialist Gifts

"Can you recommend something for the attorney who got me everything?"

"Your ex-wife's attorney is totally unethical. I'm certain he'll take a payoff."

The Gayhorns

"This is my new divorce lawyer."

Vehicles are having their own election. These are the candidates. The ambulance appeals to voters who think health care is most important. Voters focusing on education issues favor the school bus. And those wanting family-friendly policies are backing the minivan. The tractor is an expert on agricultural issues, and the import is a free trade advocate. Those voters concerned about environmental issues like the electric hybrid, and those wanting a strong military support the Jeep. What's t

"Some day, son, all this will be your ex-wife's."

"Your resume says that you've got your Ph.D., your M.B.A. and that you've worked as a C.F.O. and C.E.O. but that your most important title and position has been M.O.M.?"

'I'd like your permission to enter into pre-nuptial negotiations...'

"Y'know, I don't know what I'd do without her, but I'd sure like to find out."

Luke Skywalker- Matrimonial Law

"Mom, Dad, this is Kevin, our new ombudsman."

'Feel free to get a second opinion. I can give you the number to my mom.'

'I'm with my minister father and my senator mom through the week and my senator mom through the week. I'm the ultimate division between Church and State.'

Going into the relationship, Tom knew Loretta was a package deal.

"...some of these tadpoles may not be yours."

"It's not good, Jack. She's after the house, the condo, custody, half your retirement $ 12,000 a month and she still wants a pound of flesh."

"Sir, the platoon suffered heavy casualties from a roadside IUD."

Family courts.

'I know we hadn't planned on getting a bigger car until we had kids, but I think we need one now to accommodate the bumper-stickers.'

'They're fighting over who gets custody of the electronic devices.'

'Mr. Rock and Mrs. Hardplace are here, sir.'

'Hell hath no furry like the lawyer of a woman scorned.'

'Everyone does divorces, Mrs.Dawson.'

Come Back Sloane

'I'm afraid your child support payments will be quite substantial.'

'I'd like to return this, it turns out my wife bought one last week.'

'I'll relinquish most of my visitation rights if you'll just let Katie come over once in awhile to program my appliances.'

'In my day you had to reach puberty before you could act surly.'

"When the divorce is final, Carl, and I've taken you for all you're worth, I hope we can still be friends."

The Supreme Court, Juvenile Divisio: "As usual, the obvious precedent for this case is the children v. Mommy."

'Guess what? The judge awarded ME custody in today's two child custody cases!'

'Your wife gets custody of the children, and you get custody of the babysitter.'

"How sweet...Our first divorce! I'm so glad we got to share this special moment together."

'We're totally against smacking but not adverse to 'moderate punishment.''

'When the bough broke, how much was the daycare center sued for?'