Family Attorney Gifts

'You're definitely my kind of divorce lawyer.'

"Her divorce lawyer was better than mine: Our iceberg was split 10%/90%, but I got the submerged part..."

'Whe they said 'God is my Judge', I didn't realize He was a real attorney.'

"Do you want to pretend to be a doctor and I'll pretend to be a hotshot civil litigation attorney who sues you till your ears bleed?"

Solicitor speaks legal jargon and has a translator who tells client: 'You haven't a hope!'

'I had my attorney draw this up. It states that if I choose to rise, I don't necessarily have to shine.'

"In lieu of a pre-nup we decided just to label everything."

"Well if I can't be a cowboy I'll be a lawyer for cowboys."

'This is my partner. He'll be taking care of the small print.'

"No, of course there isn't, 'one law for the rich and another for the poor'... There's no law for the poor."

"Our new associate asks how much of a fee is too much. Do you want to handle this or shall I laugh in his face?"

"Some day, son, all this will be your ex-wife's."

Vehicles are having their own election. These are the candidates. The ambulance appeals to voters who think health care is most important. Voters focusing on education issues favor the school bus. And those wanting family-friendly policies are backing the minivan. The tractor is an expert on agricultural issues, and the import is a free trade advocate. Those voters concerned about environmental issues like the electric hybrid, and those wanting a strong military support the Jeep. What's t

"Objection, Your Honor! Alleged killer whale."

'If corporate lawyers are a dime a dozen, where are the other ten?'

'Call me immediately if there's any serious side effects so I can notify my lawyer.'

'Ignorance of the law is no excuse, especially when you're majoring in Law.'

'Look -- I'm willing to forget about all this if you are.'

'There they go - off on their own - and a finer bunch of fledgelings one couldn't ask.'

'I request an postponement, Your Honor -- I have to study for my bar exams.'

'How do you plead, in twenty-five words or less?'

"Your Honor, we're going to go with the prosecution's spin."

'Hello, Acme signs? This is the Berger & Coles Law Office...'

I love Lawyers

Cat and dog at a will reading.

"Hey, I'm just playing devil's avocado!"

"After I graduate middle school, high school and college, I'll go to law school to get you out of this. But I want my retainer now."

"For the sake of not being redundant, your honor, I feel that one 'bad dog' is sufficient."

What do you mean, "Did I try anything funny?"

I'm accused of kicking you in the womb, but your evidence is purely circumstantial. Lawyer baby.

"Judgement Day: Division Four"

'It wasn't long before Larry realized his calling as a lawyer whisperer...'

"He's actually my co-counsel, but you may scratch his head."

"Oh dear, it's just as we suspected.. they do come from another planet."

"We-your agents, successors, licensees, and assigns--would like to share a few thoughts with you."