Family Law Solicitor Gifts

"Her lawyers were very good."

"Some day, son, all this will be your ex-wife's."

'I'd like your permission to enter into pre-nuptial negotiations...'

"Y'know, I don't know what I'd do without her, but I'd sure like to find out."

'Feel free to get a second opinion. I can give you the number to my mom.'

"Mom, Dad, this is Kevin, our new ombudsman."

'I'm with my minister father and my senator mom through the week and my senator mom through the week. I'm the ultimate division between Church and State.'

"Can you recommend something for the attorney who got me everything?"

"...some of these tadpoles may not be yours."

"It's not good, Jack. She's after the house, the condo, custody, half your retirement $ 12,000 a month and she still wants a pound of flesh."

"Just sign it, or I'll post YOUR old report cards on social media."

'I'm pregnant, the dog and cat arepregnant,even the gold fish is pregnant - it beats me how you ever became a family planning counsellor...'

Family courts.

'Everyone does divorces, Mrs.Dawson.'

Come Back Sloane

'Hell hath no furry like the lawyer of a woman scorned.'

'Mr. Rock and Mrs. Hardplace are here, sir.'

'They're fighting over who gets custody of the electronic devices.'

'I'm afraid your child support payments will be quite substantial.'

'Um...Excuuuse me?! Apparently you've forgotten the household peacekeeping policy.'

"When the divorce is final, Carl, and I've taken you for all you're worth, I hope we can still be friends."

The Supreme Court, Juvenile Divisio: "As usual, the obvious precedent for this case is the children v. Mommy."

"My client, whom I shall refer to as your son, has retained me to represent him in these negotiations regarding an increase in his allowance!"

'I'll relinquish most of my visitation rights if you'll just let Katie come over once in awhile to program my appliances.'

"We want to make sure that your wish for us to give you grandchildren has nothing to do with your concerns about future vacancies at your chicken processing plant."

'Guess what? The judge awarded ME custody in today's two child custody cases!'

'Your wife gets custody of the children, and you get custody of the babysitter.'

'We're totally against smacking but not adverse to 'moderate punishment.''

'When the bough broke, how much was the daycare center sued for?'

"How sweet...Our first divorce! I'm so glad we got to share this special moment together."

Guardianship of minors