Family Court Lawyer Gifts

Mean Judge

"We have three house blends: 'One More Chance', 'Forget About It' or 'I'll See You In Fun Court'."

"Some day, son, all this will be your ex-wife's."

Vehicles are having their own election. These are the candidates. The ambulance appeals to voters who think health care is most important. Voters focusing on education issues favor the school bus. And those wanting family-friendly policies are backing the minivan. The tractor is an expert on agricultural issues, and the import is a free trade advocate. Those voters concerned about environmental issues like the electric hybrid, and those wanting a strong military support the Jeep. What's t

'I'd like your permission to enter into pre-nuptial negotiations...'

"Y'know, I don't know what I'd do without her, but I'd sure like to find out."

'At first I was grounded, but my lawyer was able to plea bargain it down to 30 minutes in the Time Out Chair.'

'According to your pre-nuptial agreement. If you divorce her, you'll turn back into a frog.'

'Of course I hired Andrew. He's the best divorce lawyer around! Unfortunately, he's also the rat I want to get divorced from...'

"After six marriages I learnt my lesson and married my divorce lawyer."

Luke Skywalker- Matrimonial Law

'You've got Mr & Mrs Smith at 2.00, Mr & Mrs Jones at 2.30, and at 3.00 your wife has made an appointment with a Divorce Lawyer!'

A rare picture of Henry VIII's divorce lawyer.

"Well, we can try. But to be honest, I doubt that you'll get custody of your husband's credit cards."

'I'm with my minister father and my senator mom through the week and my senator mom through the week. I'm the ultimate division between Church and State.'

"We'll make your wedding reception perfect, and don't forget you get a money-saving coupon for any future divorce parties."

"You'll hear from my lawyer."

"Can you recommend something for the attorney who got me everything?"

"When, in the course of human events, it becomes necessary for one person to dissolve the marital bonds which have connected her with another..."

John McWit, Divorce Lawyer & Celibate,

"It's not good, Jack. She's after the house, the condo, custody, half your retirement $ 12,000 a month and she still wants a pound of flesh."

"I do corporate, divorce, and malpractice, but I'm most familiar with leash laws."

'... And just in case it doesn't work out, here's my card. I'm also a very good divorce lawyer.'

Family courts.

'If you dislike the term divorce that much, then just think of it as downsizing the time you spend together.'

"Quite frankly, I've had a gut-full of all his Shakespearean drama!"

'Mr. Rock and Mrs. Hardplace are here, sir.'

'Hell hath no furry like the lawyer of a woman scorned.'

"As a matter of fact, yes, it was an amicable divorce."

'Everyone does divorces, Mrs.Dawson.'

'They're fighting over who gets custody of the electronic devices.'

'This is George, my divorce lawyer from a previous marriage.'

Marriage Returns

'You don't want to marry me. I'm a divorce lawyer.'

"Give it all you got is the motto of my wife's divorce attorney."