Family Court Judge Gifts

'I'm afraid your child support payments will be quite substantial.'

'Guess what? The judge awarded ME custody in today's two child custody cases!'

'A lady named 'Snow White' wants to see you about seven palimony suits.'

"She got everything, including your mistress."

'Of course I favor gay marriage. I can use the business!'

'Alimony is like having to pay instalments on a car after you have written it off!'

Bureaucracy and family

Trial by Media

"Good boy."

"Obama didn’t get to name a Supreme Court justice during his final year. So how come Trump does?"

'Am I being too suspicious or do you think it's possible that they're crooked?'

'Whe they said 'God is my Judge', I didn't realize He was a real attorney.'

"Counsel for prose is overruled. Poetry, you may continue."

'When I grow up, I'm either going to be an authority figure or an unimpeachable source.'

"What do you recommend for someone being tried in absentia?"

"Some day, son, all this will be your ex-wife's."

No Parking - Scandal or No Scandal

"Your Honor, we're going to go with the prosecution's spin."

'Look -- I'm willing to forget about all this if you are.'

"Amen. . . void where prohibited by law."

'How do you plead, in twenty-five words or less?'

'I request an postponement, Your Honor -- I have to study for my bar exams.'

"O.K., O.K., people - we're not workshopping these, they're already set in stone."

'So Captain Ahab, I put it to you that you were deliberately stalking my client!'

I love Lawyers

"He's the chief watchdog, who watches over all the other watchdogs—but this must be his night off."

'Court's in recess!'

Barristers

"You call this a constitution?"

'What's wrong with those Europeans? We have more murders in this city than England, France Germany and Spain combined.'

"Judgement Day: Division Four"

"Just for the heck of it, how do you plead?"

"Now that's a win."

My Brother Al once went through a period of depression, your honor. He would just sit around in his robe all day. Then his psychiatrist got him out of his funk. Would you like to have his doctor's phone number? ? ?

Ruth Bader Ginsburg - Forever Supreme