Family Law Enthusiast Gifts

"What does X equal?"

"Some day, son, all this will be your ex-wife's."

Recruiting litigation lawyers is ALWAYS tricky..my last one took me to court for the emotional and professional damage I caused him by NOT considering him for a position I wasn't asked to fill.

"You can't prove that I broke it! Where's your physical evidence? Fingerprints or a DNA profile?"

'Ignorance of the law is no excuse, especially when you're majoring in Law.'

"Sorry, kid. No off-campus drinking until you're twenty-one."

"We've also been given ten top employment law tips."

'I think I'll become a lawyer.'

'I'd like your permission to enter into pre-nuptial negotiations...'

"Y'know, I don't know what I'd do without her, but I'd sure like to find out."

"Some school - They teach us about the Fifth Amendment, but they won't let us use it on TESTS!"

'Can I sue someone because I didn't win my lawsuit?'

Violent Crime Statistics

"The ignorance of the lawyer is no excuse."

'You got a search warrant, sheriff?'

"My parents are going to pay for my education but I'm on my own for any attorney's fees."

Ian McWit, Attorney at Law, Body by Joe's Gym, Mind by Harvard.

"Don't even think about it! I am the property of the English Monarch!"

Lady Justice.

Lady Justice wears a blindfold, but listens through headphones to a tape recorder on one of her scales.

'Remember - do not try to plant the seeds from these apples. They're intellectual property, and they're copyrighted.'

'I thought he was joking. I didn't think my husband would really turn me in to the FDA!'

'I'm with my minister father and my senator mom through the week and my senator mom through the week. I'm the ultimate division between Church and State.'

'I'm suing my way alphabetically through the phone book.'

'We the jury find the defendant very, very, very, guilty.'

It Looks Like Trumpty Dumpty Got His Wall After All.

"Apparently, you have very little respect for our judicial system, sauntering in here with only one lawyer."

Baby's first words.

"To be honest, I'm not sure if you marking your territory is legally binding in a boundary claim dispute."

"Can you recommend something for the attorney who got me everything?"

'Your honour, we find the defendent 'politically incorrect'.'

Two lawyers in a royal court

'Tell the truth: does this affidavit make me look fat?'