Family Chaos Fans Gifts

'It's a leaf.'

'Hi hon! How's the little monster?'

"You can't prove that I broke it! Where's your physical evidence? Fingerprints or a DNA profile?"

Family with pets.

"Darling... I think the Baby's been eating the fridge magnets again."

"I need to know who started it."

"Have mercy on me, Mama. Have mercy on Mr. Pitiful."

Excess Baggage: In the old days folks called 2 weeks with 4 kids in a non-air conditioned car a vacation.

"I couldn't possibly lick another baby right now."

'How do you know I won't shrink if I didn't come with a washing instructions tag?'

"I fell in the mud again. Maybe I need a stunt double."

'Dad won't buy me a puppy, so I'm teaching him to bark!'

'Hey, Mom, here comes Frankie's tailor!'

"She just asked me if she could have a few friends in to watch the International Horse Show."

'It may not be your feng shui, but it's my feng shui.'

"I'm tired of this full-time job. I want a part-time job."

'Actually, they're pretty nice, once they settle down.'

"I figure we can blue-screen the kids in later."

'It wasn't premeditated.

The sofa freshly made up...

Don't you yell at him, he couldn't remember where he buried you!

'Let's get this party started!'

'My sales training was right. The person in the highest chair is dominant.'

"Sergio, I think you've done a great job raising the children."

'How many kids do you actually have?'

When a teen finds out his parents are volunteering in the youth group.

Reason #149 for making sure the whole family wears seat belts: It helps keep the kids quiet.

'Found her. Keeping her.'

Coping during the 6 weeks school holidays.

"Normally things don't get me down. But lately, just getting out of bed has been difficult."

'Separate vacations - four of 'em!'

'Don't track mud in the house! 'IT'S NOT MUD! IT'S DOG POO!'

"Honey have you seen my phone? I can't find it anywhere...I swear I left it on the coffee table but now it's gone..."