Family Chaos Aficionado Gifts

Stories to Keep You Up At Night

'Surprise!'

'Hi hon! How's the little monster?'

"You can't prove that I broke it! Where's your physical evidence? Fingerprints or a DNA profile?"

The Family Joules: Part 16

"Darling... I think the Baby's been eating the fridge magnets again."

Family with pets.

"Have mercy on me, Mama. Have mercy on Mr. Pitiful."

"I need to know who started it."

Excess Baggage: In the old days folks called 2 weeks with 4 kids in a non-air conditioned car a vacation.

"I couldn't possibly lick another baby right now."

'Hey, Mom, here comes Frankie's tailor!'

'Dad won't buy me a puppy, so I'm teaching him to bark!'

Two children play with a pedal bin

"I fell in the mud again. Maybe I need a stunt double."

"I'm tired of this full-time job. I want a part-time job."

'Actually, they're pretty nice, once they settle down.'

"I figure we can blue-screen the kids in later."

'Let's get this party started!'

'My sales training was right. The person in the highest chair is dominant.'

'How many kids do you actually have?'

"Well? Have I hit it yet?"

Just your average family holiday portrait.

'When did you get a ceiling fan?'

Baby with a full diaper 'Load Rage'

'Found her. Keeping her.'

"Normally things don't get me down. But lately, just getting out of bed has been difficult."

'Separate vacations - four of 'em!'

"Honey have you seen my phone? I can't find it anywhere...I swear I left it on the coffee table but now it's gone..."

Mr Briggs's Pleasures of Housekeeping - No. II

'You were the one who said you'd like him to bring some of his friends home. . .'

"Family vacation is an oxymoron."

'We need another refrigerator, Mom.'

These colours haven't just run. They've sprinted!

'No more kids, Steve -- I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired.'