Family Chaos Aficionado Gifts

Stories to Keep You Up At Night

'Surprise!'

'Hi hon! How's the little monster?'

"You can't prove that I broke it! Where's your physical evidence? Fingerprints or a DNA profile?"

"Have mercy on me, Mama. Have mercy on Mr. Pitiful."

Family with pets.

"Darling... I think the Baby's been eating the fridge magnets again."

"I need to know who started it."

Excess Baggage: In the old days folks called 2 weeks with 4 kids in a non-air conditioned car a vacation.

"I couldn't possibly lick another baby right now."

'Dad won't buy me a puppy, so I'm teaching him to bark!'

'Hey, Mom, here comes Frankie's tailor!'

Two children play with a pedal bin

"I fell in the mud again. Maybe I need a stunt double."

"I'm tired of this full-time job. I want a part-time job."

'Actually, they're pretty nice, once they settle down.'

"I figure we can blue-screen the kids in later."

'Let's get this party started!'

'My sales training was right. The person in the highest chair is dominant.'

'How many kids do you actually have?'

Just your average family holiday portrait.

Baby with a full diaper 'Load Rage'

'When did you get a ceiling fan?'

'Found her. Keeping her.'

"Normally things don't get me down. But lately, just getting out of bed has been difficult."

'Separate vacations - four of 'em!'

"Honey have you seen my phone? I can't find it anywhere...I swear I left it on the coffee table but now it's gone..."

Mr Briggs's Pleasures of Housekeeping - No. II

'You were the one who said you'd like him to bring some of his friends home. . .'

"Family vacation is an oxymoron."

'We need another refrigerator, Mom.'

'No more kids, Steve -- I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired.'

'Do you think Doctor could see him soon, I have the dinner to prepare.'

These colours haven't just run. They've sprinted!

"I thought I told you two to stop horsing around in here."