Family Chaos Connoisseur Gifts

Nerve-racking Chanukah moments

"It was their idea to make you breakfast in bed."

'Hi hon! How's the little monster?'

"You can't prove that I broke it! Where's your physical evidence? Fingerprints or a DNA profile?"

"Darling... I think the Baby's been eating the fridge magnets again."

Family with pets.

"Have mercy on me, Mama. Have mercy on Mr. Pitiful."

"I need to know who started it."

Excess Baggage: In the old days folks called 2 weeks with 4 kids in a non-air conditioned car a vacation.

"I couldn't possibly lick another baby right now."

"I fell in the mud again. Maybe I need a stunt double."

'Dad won't buy me a puppy, so I'm teaching him to bark!'

'Hey, Mom, here comes Frankie's tailor!'

"I'm tired of this full-time job. I want a part-time job."

"I figure we can blue-screen the kids in later."

'My sales training was right. The person in the highest chair is dominant.'

Cook au vin

'How many kids do you actually have?'

Just your average family holiday portrait.

Baby with a full diaper 'Load Rage'

'When did you get a ceiling fan?'

'Found her. Keeping her.'

"Normally things don't get me down. But lately, just getting out of bed has been difficult."

'Separate vacations - four of 'em!'

"Honey have you seen my phone? I can't find it anywhere...I swear I left it on the coffee table but now it's gone..."

'You were the one who said you'd like him to bring some of his friends home. . .'

'I couldn't put it down... I had peanut butter on my hands.'

Mr Briggs's Pleasures of Housekeeping - No. II

"Family vacation is an oxymoron."

'We need another refrigerator, Mom.'

'No more kids, Steve -- I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired.'

These colours haven't just run. They've sprinted!

"I'm glas my dad made me mow the lawn. I found 2 phones, 6 phone chargers and a headset in the grass."

Supermom meets her match - super kid.

"Honey, all we want is what's quiet for us."