Family Chaos Aficionados Gifts

'Hi hon! How's the little monster?'

"You can't prove that I broke it! Where's your physical evidence? Fingerprints or a DNA profile?"

Family with pets.

"Have mercy on me, Mama. Have mercy on Mr. Pitiful."

"Darling... I think the Baby's been eating the fridge magnets again."

"I need to know who started it."

Excess Baggage: In the old days folks called 2 weeks with 4 kids in a non-air conditioned car a vacation.

"I couldn't possibly lick another baby right now."

'Dad won't buy me a puppy, so I'm teaching him to bark!'

'Hey, Mom, here comes Frankie's tailor!'

"I fell in the mud again. Maybe I need a stunt double."

"I'm tired of this full-time job. I want a part-time job."

"I figure we can blue-screen the kids in later."

Couple with lots of kids. Woman says: 'This is our daughter, my son from my first marriage, John's daughter from his second marriage, and I've no idea who the one on the end is.'

'Let's get this party started!'

'My sales training was right. The person in the highest chair is dominant.'

'How many kids do you actually have?'

Baby with a full diaper 'Load Rage'

'Found her. Keeping her.'

"Normally things don't get me down. But lately, just getting out of bed has been difficult."

"It's perfectly all right. I used to do the same sort of thing when I was a little boy."

'Separate vacations - four of 'em!'

"Honey have you seen my phone? I can't find it anywhere...I swear I left it on the coffee table but now it's gone..."

'You were the one who said you'd like him to bring some of his friends home. . .'

"Family vacation is an oxymoron."

'We need another refrigerator, Mom.'

'No more kids, Steve -- I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired.'

Supermom meets her match - super kid.

"I thought I told you two to stop horsing around in here."

"I'm glas my dad made me mow the lawn. I found 2 phones, 6 phone chargers and a headset in the grass."

'Surprise!'

"Honey, all we want is what's quiet for us."

Nerve-racking Chanukah moments