Faithful Musings Gifts

"If your faith is so strong, why did you rush to the E.R. instead of your church?"

'Look, I never said salvation would be PRETTY!'

"I'm getting red fruits, earth tones, and oak. Amen."

"God works in mysterious ways."

"If anyone wants me, Ms. Clark, I'll be down in the youth department."

Do you ever wonder if there's really a higher power? What do you mean? Is there an all-knowing being that keeps track of you? That always knows where you are

'I wonder if there's a message up there somewhere.'

"No, you cannot have another planet. You only played with the last one for a week."

'Is there something bothering you, besides sin, crime, hunger, that sort of thing?'

"Your sins are forgiven, but not your co-pay."

"But, Mom, how can it be a vacation when you're taking me to school?"

Mental baggage, a brain with a handle for easy carrying.

Honk if you're holy.

"Hallelujah!"

Got god? (no you don't...He's got you!)

Jesus wept

"My Son, of course there were only one set of footprints in the sand. I've got a hoverboard."

'A funny thing happened to me on the way to the church tonight..'

Chruch member about preacher: 'Pastor Woodsley has old fashioned power point.'

'Do you ever wish the Big Bang would have been just a little bigger?'

'Every time I go on an ego trip, I get hijacked by terrorists!'

'Pray for peace... or war.'

'His version of sin is different from the press account.'

Thomas Aquinas

Second to Nun

'Is this seat saved?' Fundamentalism Gone Awry.

"The disciples are gonna be totally freaked."

At home with the Pope.

Growing Churches

'Born again bees

The first attempt at stoning St. Stephen...

'Personal?...No, I assure you, my relationship with God is strictly professional.'

Christ and His Disciples - Ticket for the London Hospital.

'More options!'

'I really don't need to go to church, Reverend -- I feel guilty enough without it.'