Faithful Wanderer Gifts

"Are you quite sure your pilgrimage is essential?"

Lourdes Miracles.

'This 'land of milk and honey' business - You forgot to mention all the *&^(&*^ SAND!'

"I'm afraid I can't green-light anything - you'll just have to pray."

Road sign: 'No Passing Zone... This, too, shall pass.'

"Oh, great - They changed the Meaning of Life again."

'Can we sit in the balcony today? Huh? Can we?'

'Fischer Says Give Thanks to the Lord!'

'There is no past. No future. Only the present, which is changing every instant. Time is merely an illusion. Got it?'

Monk Prompt

Public footpath on a desert island.

'We're going to start this week's sermon with a review of the basics....'

Do you ever wonder if there's really a higher power? What do you mean? Is there an all-knowing being that keeps track of you? That always knows where you are

Free ticket to heaven... details inside

Jesus is Scourged (The Holy Bible).

"I've accepted him as my personal trainer."

'No, I didn't get a presidential pardon, but I got something better. God has forgiven me.'

'This business about the meek inheriting the Earth -- can't anything be done about it?'

"Amen. Thanks everyone, oh and don't forget to subscribe!"

"He's dumbing down the sermons again."

Pastor puts up sign on pole stating that he is 'serving' his 1,000th sermon.

"I'm saving you with this booklet about the Kingdom of Heaven."

'It's just like New-Time religion, but recognizes sin.'

Spiritual Lives Matter

"But, Mom, how can it be a vacation when you're taking me to school?"

'Have you been taking your medicine every day?'

'It's Sundays like this that I regret our church website is so popular.'

The evangelist turned lawyer's opening arguments were unconvincing

"Holy water, holy water...."

"The buck really stops with him."

"Attendance is down again this morning. If we want to continue calling ourselves a congregation, we're going to have to congregate."

"10,000 members or not, the Pastor should at least remember my name."

"Free why-fi.”

"My Son, of course there were only one set of footprints in the sand. I've got a hoverboard."

'...and we used to grumble about not understanding archaic church language!'