Faithful Crammer Gifts

'My gran reads her bible a lot. She's cramming for her finals.'

'I request an postponement, Your Honor -- I have to study for my bar exams.'

'Can we sit in the balcony today? Huh? Can we?'

Christian and Born again Christian...

Biology Revision - Arse / elbow.

'I'm on the short degree course... hell of a lot to pack into one year!'

Do you ever wonder if there's really a higher power? What do you mean? Is there an all-knowing being that keeps track of you? That always knows where you are

"I'm thinking that now is a good time to start those tutoring sessions."

'No, I didn't get a presidential pardon, but I got something better. God has forgiven me.'

"I'm saving you with this booklet about the Kingdom of Heaven."

Couple beyond prayer - need divine intervention.

"But, Mom, how can it be a vacation when you're taking me to school?"

'Hmmm, everyone seems to have prepared for the exam except for Thomas who's making a long face now.'

"My Son, of course there were only one set of footprints in the sand. I've got a hoverboard."

"History test? But I studied all night for a math test!"

The church of our lady of wall street.

'His version of sin is different from the press account.'

'Hey, what's with all this 'God forbid' stuff?'

"I won't ask you what you're using for bait . . . what are you using for a line."

"I thought SAT was 'Smart Alec Teacher'!"

Exams

'You see, son, we are all made in His Image.'

"It's obvious Jesus accepts everyone. His disciples were fishermen, and we know what kind of lies we tell."

"The disciples are gonna be totally freaked."

'I really don't need to go to church, Reverend -- I feel guilty enough without it.'

'I thought about leaving once, but I couldn't quit the habit.'

'Perhaps you need a more reverent prayer than, 'Come on, God, help me out.'

"Bible studies class? We're still writing it."

Livin' the dream

A leap of faith.

'Could you straighten my little brother out? -- he has the Trinity mixed up with the Three Stooges.'

Church Steeple Rocket

Dial-A-Prayer and Dial-A-Mantra

"The Convent of the Immaculate Heart Brewery"

A blessing in disguise.