Faith Joker Gifts

'Perhaps he's heard we're losing our churchwarden.'

"A million prayers a day with not a single self-addressed stamped envelope. And they wonder why there's never an answer."

Nun Binning the Devil

Garden of Eden and scrumping

'It's just like New-Time religion, but recognizes sin.'

'Are you sure we should do all this praying on Sunday? -- I thought it was God's day off.'

HM Prison chapel, "try to think of the lord as a 24 hour video surveillance system gathering pictures for the ultimate crimewatch"

'Golly, is it that time already?'

Sermon - why our religion is really better than yours.

"Holy water, holy water...."

Eucharist

"Sorry - I've got to take this..."

And the Lord said: 'I created the universe. What on earth makes you think I'll be impressed by a dead goat?'

'Let us now turn to the Gospel According to St. Matthew for today's sob story.'

"I have a right to disagree! You can't force me to use logic."

Jesus falling over a wave.

'That lumbago you just got rid of - you gave to me!'

My belief is better than yours!

Stretcher Header.

Almost Your Time.

'I hope you have come here to give us a taste of religion.'

First Church: Today's Sermon - Sinners Looking At Their Smartphones Instead of Listening To The Sermon Will Go Straight To Hell.

'Is there any way we could ease into these GRADUALLY?'

"Thy will be one, but also, I have some notes."

'The vicar's sermon is running late again!'

Saint Joseph and his aspirin

"I can't tell from this far away, but he's either enlightened or dead."

'I'm beginning to think our flock has discovered the grass is greener the other side of the fence...'

'I know that, reverend, but where does it say 'jury not'?'

'But if this 'No-working-on-the-Sabbath' goes through, where does that leave us?'

How To Saint . . .

'Jesus forgave you because he had to.'

"Wow, you just grabbed any old belief system that came down the pike didn't you?"