Faith Joker Pillows

'Perhaps he's heard we're losing our churchwarden.'

"Bless me, Father, for I have wind."

"A million prayers a day with not a single self-addressed stamped envelope. And they wonder why there's never an answer."

Nun Binning the Devil

How James and John became known as "Sons of Thunder".

Garden of Eden and scrumping

'It's just like New-Time religion, but recognizes sin.'

'Are you sure we should do all this praying on Sunday? -- I thought it was God's day off.'

Sermon - why our religion is really better than yours.

HM Prison chapel, "try to think of the lord as a 24 hour video surveillance system gathering pictures for the ultimate crimewatch"

'Golly, is it that time already?'

"Holy water, holy water...."

"Sorry - I've got to take this..."

Eucharist

And the Lord said: 'I created the universe. What on earth makes you think I'll be impressed by a dead goat?'

"I have a right to disagree! You can't force me to use logic."

'Let us now turn to the Gospel According to St. Matthew for today's sob story.'

Jesus falling over a wave.

Remote-controlled Popemobile.

'That lumbago you just got rid of - you gave to me!'

My belief is better than yours!

Stretcher Header.

Almost Your Time.

'I hope you have come here to give us a taste of religion.'

First Church: Today's Sermon - Sinners Looking At Their Smartphones Instead of Listening To The Sermon Will Go Straight To Hell.

Peter pranks the other Apostles...

'Is there any way we could ease into these GRADUALLY?'

"I can't tell from this far away, but he's either enlightened or dead."

Saint Joseph and his aspirin

'The vicar's sermon is running late again!'

"Thy will be one, but also, I have some notes."

'I'm beginning to think our flock has discovered the grass is greener the other side of the fence...'

'I know that, reverend, but where does it say 'jury not'?'

'Pssst! Interested in some deviled eggs?'

How To Saint . . .