Faith Debaters Gifts

"Trust me Jesus, if you want to make a bigger impact work on being seeker friendly."

"Intelligent design...well, duh!"

"How was I supposed to know that the apple was a controlled substance?"

'You'll never believe this - they've found the actual body of Jesus!'

"I wonder how many people are claiming to be your messiah right now?"

"You atheists wouldn't exist without God!"

"Mr. Pope, please give this summons to your boss. The prosecutor wants to know how god can allow so much misery."

"You say we atheists are going to Hell? Look at all the f**ks we give... Go ahead... Look at them all."

"But, Jesus - you can't become an atheist."

The only Universal Truths that all religions agree upon.

"I'm starting to prefer the ones who don't believe in me."

Today's sermon: 'Do sin taxes violate the seperation of church & state?'

Corruption trial in the Vatican

'Ok Preacher, here's the deal. You back off I back off, and everyone is happy...'

"I think you made your mistake right at the beginning!"

'I used to think I couldn't serve both God and Mammon, and then I discovered multitasking!'

Atheist Convention: 'I don't believe it!'

'So, I take it that diversity isn't a priority?'

"And lo, we made God in our own image.."

'Doesn't this 'chosen people' thing sound a little nepotistic?'

"Well, son, in a way, I suppose Jesus was a trust-fund baby."

Actual Results May Vary

Woman protesting to Free-Kirk pastor about a church organ

'What did you say? 'The light is nothing but an ordinary streetlamp'? Oh no! My own son is an atheist??!'

"Hey, this is a good bit- did I say that?"

"I gave him a public education Artie ol' boy. . . you should know by now that government schools are one of my best minion corporations!"

Basic Theology

"Well...this constant badness is just sooo wearisome...."

"To find out if God exists let's ask an expert."