Belief Debaters Gifts

'The problem with that is that it makes you an easy target.'

"Trust me Jesus, if you want to make a bigger impact work on being seeker friendly."

"Intelligent design...well, duh!"

'You'll never believe this - they've found the actual body of Jesus!'

"How was I supposed to know that the apple was a controlled substance?"

Changing Minds

"I think you refuse to admit your god condones slavery, because doing so would be an admission you are more moral than he is. And that conflicts with your Borg programming."

"I wonder how many people are claiming to be your messiah right now?"

"You atheists wouldn't exist without God!"

"Mr. Pope, please give this summons to your boss. The prosecutor wants to know how god can allow so much misery."

"You say we atheists are going to Hell? Look at all the f**ks we give... Go ahead... Look at them all."

"But, Jesus - you can't become an atheist."

The only Universal Truths that all religions agree upon.

"This'll show the Theology Department."

"I'm starting to prefer the ones who don't believe in me."

Worst. God. Ever.

With Liberty handcuffed,,the thought police pursue happiness,

Today's sermon: 'Do sin taxes violate the seperation of church & state?'

Corruption trial in the Vatican

"I think you made your mistake right at the beginning!"

Atheist Convention: 'I don't believe it!'

'I used to think I couldn't serve both God and Mammon, and then I discovered multitasking!'

'So, I take it that diversity isn't a priority?'

I hear you're preaching godlessness, you little heathen. I'm preaching intellectual honesty. There is no proof of a Judeo Christian almighty. You might as well believe in Zeus or the spiritual powers of a raisin scone. Where do you think morality comes from? What do you think is the basis for our civil society? The almighty! All hail the raisin scone! HOJ.

"Can atheists refuse to participate?"

"Well, son, in a way, I suppose Jesus was a trust-fund baby."

"And lo, we made God in our own image.."

'Doesn't this 'chosen people' thing sound a little nepotistic?'

Actual Results May Vary

"Hey, this is a good bit- did I say that?"

'What did you say? 'The light is nothing but an ordinary streetlamp'? Oh no! My own son is an atheist??!'

Liberals Ignore Science Too

Basic Theology

"I gave him a public education Artie ol' boy. . . you should know by now that government schools are one of my best minion corporations!"

"Well...this constant badness is just sooo wearisome...."