Belief System Debaters Gifts

"I'm sorry, but we can't go out. I'm a creationist and you are a lump of coal. I....I just don't believe in carbon dating."

"Trust me Jesus, if you want to make a bigger impact work on being seeker friendly."

"Intelligent design...well, duh!"

'A religious zealot denounces a toaster for working on the Sabbath'

Changing Minds

'You'll never believe this - they've found the actual body of Jesus!'

"How was I supposed to know that the apple was a controlled substance?"

"Do you think the flat earth society has members round the globe?"

"You atheists wouldn't exist without God!"

'You present a very convincing argument.'

"You say we atheists are going to Hell? Look at all the f**ks we give... Go ahead... Look at them all."

Needless to say, God forgot the legs.

Flat-earthers and round-earthers reach a compromise.

The only Universal Truths that all religions agree upon.

"I'm starting to prefer the ones who don't believe in me."

With Liberty handcuffed,,the thought police pursue happiness,

Today's sermon: 'Do sin taxes violate the seperation of church & state?'

Good shrink, bad shrink.

"I think you made your mistake right at the beginning!"

'So, I take it that diversity isn't a priority?'

Atheist Convention: 'I don't believe it!'

"And lo, we made God in our own image.."

Actual Results May Vary

'What did you say? 'The light is nothing but an ordinary streetlamp'? Oh no! My own son is an atheist??!'

Capital punishment right or wrong? For men or women?

"I gave him a public education Artie ol' boy. . . you should know by now that government schools are one of my best minion corporations!"

Basic Theology

"And now Professor Weyfeld, of Columbia University, with some liberal claptrap."

"Let's face it - if your god existed, I'd been struck dead long ago for mocking her."

No atheists in Heaven.