Theology Debater Gifts

"Intelligent design...well, duh!"

"There's so much sex and violence in the bible, I'm surprised the christian church hasn't banned it."

"If we're anti-Christ, does that mean we're pro-science?"

"Building a robot Pope was questionable to begin with, but why did we give him a laser-gun hand?"

Diocese of South Carolina!

"You atheists wouldn't exist without God!"

"Let's face it, the way a lot of your followers behave... Our merger is a no-brainer!"

"Trust me Jesus, if you want to make a bigger impact work on being seeker friendly."

"How was I supposed to know that the apple was a controlled substance?"

'You'll never believe this - they've found the actual body of Jesus!'

"I think you refuse to admit your god condones slavery, because doing so would be an admission you are more moral than he is. And that conflicts with your Borg programming."

'You present a very convincing argument.'

"You say we atheists are going to Hell? Look at all the f**ks we give... Go ahead... Look at them all."

"How do I know God is not real? For the same reason I know people on TV can't see me."

Needless to say, God forgot the legs.

The only Universal Truths that all religions agree upon.

"This'll show the Theology Department."

"I'm starting to prefer the ones who don't believe in me."

Worst. God. Ever.

Today's sermon: 'Do sin taxes violate the seperation of church & state?'

Corruption trial in the Vatican

"I think you made your mistake right at the beginning!"

"So Jesus, what denomination are you?"

'I used to think I couldn't serve both God and Mammon, and then I discovered multitasking!'

Atheist Convention: 'I don't believe it!'

'So, I take it that diversity isn't a priority?'

'Doesn't this 'chosen people' thing sound a little nepotistic?'

I hear you're preaching godlessness, you little heathen. I'm preaching intellectual honesty. There is no proof of a Judeo Christian almighty. You might as well believe in Zeus or the spiritual powers of a raisin scone. Where do you think morality comes from? What do you think is the basis for our civil society? The almighty! All hail the raisin scone! HOJ.

Equal Time for All Christians

"Can atheists refuse to participate?"

"And lo, we made God in our own image.."

Actual Results May Vary

'What did you say? 'The light is nothing but an ordinary streetlamp'? Oh no! My own son is an atheist??!'

Woman protesting to Free-Kirk pastor about a church organ

"I gave him a public education Artie ol' boy. . . you should know by now that government schools are one of my best minion corporations!"