Belief Debater Gifts

'Well, self-righteousness is better than no righteousness at all, isn't it?'

'What did you say? 'The light is nothing but an ordinary streetlamp'? Oh no! My own son is an atheist??!'

'You'll never believe this - they've found the actual body of Jesus!'

"My religion makes sense if you want it to."

"I hope I never insult your beliefs by accident."

Church leader at desk has 3 boxes marked 'Black', 'White' and 'Gray Area'.

"When faced with a tricky ethical issue, I always ask the question, 'What's in it for me?'"

'Today's sermon is on Eve and Adam....'

'Just ask yourself -- Are you better off now than you were two thousand years ago?'

"Trust me Jesus, if you want to make a bigger impact work on being seeker friendly."

"Intelligent design...well, duh!"

"You seem troubled, Pastor. Is anything worrying you...I mean aside from the sins of the world, the vanity of humankind, man's inhumanity to man..."

"How was I supposed to know that the apple was a controlled substance?"

"I see you're back from church. What was cherry-picked for you today?"

'How do we SLEEP at night?'

"Mrs. Marsha Mullhouse, of Kenosha, Wisconsin, asks, "Are You subject to the laws of physics, or are the laws of physics subject to You?"

'Are you sure You can be objective? -After all, You did CREATE them.'

"I think you refuse to admit your god condones slavery, because doing so would be an admission you are more moral than he is. And that conflicts with your Borg programming."

"Any distinguishing 'PARSONAL' characteristics?"

'Forget it. Bioethics doesn't apply to us.'

"If everything is God's will, tell me again why I need to study for exams?"

Jesus Christ, Health Insurance CEO

"He really isn't bad, per se, but he is kind of a jerk."

Plant Parenthood...

"You atheists wouldn't exist without God!"

"You say we atheists are going to Hell? Look at all the f**ks we give... Go ahead... Look at them all."

A not-so-happy God, with the Humans, sticking an Eviction Notice to the Earth

Memory Content is King

'Naughty? Nice? Santa, I don't deal in absolutes.'

'If you start granting amnesty for people for following their conscience, pretty soon everyone will be following his conscience.'

"There is a medical use for marijuana. I sold it to pay my tuition at medical school."

"When we tested this medication on dogs, nobody noticed any side effects."

The only Universal Truths that all religions agree upon.

"This'll show the Theology Department."

"Having completed the formation of the earth, on the seventh day the Lord rested. Then, on the eighth day, the Lord said, 'Let there be problems.' And there were problems."