Belief System Debater Gifts

"You need to learn how to handle conflicting views the Christian way."

"Trust me Jesus, if you want to make a bigger impact work on being seeker friendly."

"Intelligent design...well, duh!"

'You'll never believe this - they've found the actual body of Jesus!'

"How was I supposed to know that the apple was a controlled substance?"

"Do you think the flat earth society has members round the globe?"

"I think you refuse to admit your god condones slavery, because doing so would be an admission you are more moral than he is. And that conflicts with your Borg programming."

"You atheists wouldn't exist without God!"

'You present a very convincing argument.'

"You can't offend me. I never mix religion or politics with reality."

"You say we atheists are going to Hell? Look at all the f**ks we give... Go ahead... Look at them all."

Needless to say, God forgot the legs.

Frankly, it’s too grim for a comedy, and too silly for a tragedy.

The only Universal Truths that all religions agree upon.

"This'll show the Theology Department."

'Yeah? -- Well, there's a thin line between being a strict constructionist and being a stupid jerk!'

"I'm starting to prefer the ones who don't believe in me."

'Ok Preacher, here's the deal. You back off I back off, and everyone is happy...'

"We Tell No One"

"I was explaining the zero aggression principle, and all of a sudden, POW!!"

"He's a middle-aged white man. What other reason do you need?"

Corruption trial in the Vatican

Today's sermon: 'Do sin taxes violate the seperation of church & state?'

"Well, by that logic no one would ever shave a clock onto a monkey."

"I think you made your mistake right at the beginning!"

A man holding a pro-life sign stands above a group of beaten people who are pro choice.

'So, I take it that diversity isn't a priority?'

Atheist Convention: 'I don't believe it!'

'I used to think I couldn't serve both God and Mammon, and then I discovered multitasking!'

I hear you're preaching godlessness, you little heathen. I'm preaching intellectual honesty. There is no proof of a Judeo Christian almighty. You might as well believe in Zeus or the spiritual powers of a raisin scone. Where do you think morality comes from? What do you think is the basis for our civil society? The almighty! All hail the raisin scone! HOJ.

"Can atheists refuse to participate?"

'Doesn't this 'chosen people' thing sound a little nepotistic?'

"And lo, we made God in our own image.."

"Are we allowed to pray?"

'Half-empty...half-full, but probably polluted.'