Religious Debater Gifts

'I used to think I couldn't serve both God and Mammon, and then I discovered multitasking!'

God is dead.

God is a Republican

Worser Mouse Trap

"KJV, NIV, ESV, NKJV, how about just God's word."

Conservative God vs liberal God on heaven and hell.

Jehovah's Witnesses "He went that way"

'Doesn't this 'chosen people' thing sound a little nepotistic?'

"It's more natural than not having sex at all.

"You're the type of person who would have kept believing in the wizard even after Toto drew open the curtain."

"The Bible does not say that!... And if it does, it's taken out of context!... And if it isn't, it's just a metaphor!... And if it's not, it's not a big deal!... And if it is, then that's just how things were done back then!... And if... er... shut up

"How can your god be both intangible and male? Does he have an intangible penis?"

"Heel! I said heel!"

Corruption trial in the Vatican

"If I were your god, I'd have fact-checked this mess before publishing."

"Trust me Jesus, if you want to make a bigger impact work on being seeker friendly."

"Intelligent design...well, duh!"

"How was I supposed to know that the apple was a controlled substance?"

"I think you refuse to admit your god condones slavery, because doing so would be an admission you are more moral than he is. And that conflicts with your Borg programming."

"You atheists wouldn't exist without God!"

"You can't offend me. I never mix religion or politics with reality."

"You say we atheists are going to Hell? Look at all the f**ks we give... Go ahead... Look at them all."

Needless to say, God forgot the legs.

"This'll show the Theology Department."

"I'm starting to prefer the ones who don't believe in me."

'Ok Preacher, here's the deal. You back off I back off, and everyone is happy...'

Today's sermon: 'Do sin taxes violate the seperation of church & state?'

Worst. God. Ever.

"I think you made your mistake right at the beginning!"

'If it's all the same to you, we'd prefer not to get involved.'

Atheist Convention: 'I don't believe it!'

'So, I take it that diversity isn't a priority?'

I hear you're preaching godlessness, you little heathen. I'm preaching intellectual honesty. There is no proof of a Judeo Christian almighty. You might as well believe in Zeus or the spiritual powers of a raisin scone. Where do you think morality comes from? What do you think is the basis for our civil society? The almighty! All hail the raisin scone! HOJ.

Equal Time for All Christians

"And lo, we made God in our own image.."