Religious Debate Debater Gifts

Equal Time for All Christians

"Trust me Jesus, if you want to make a bigger impact work on being seeker friendly."

"Intelligent design...well, duh!"

"How was I supposed to know that the apple was a controlled substance?"

'I know it's controversial, but my calculations prove beyond doubt that a nod is BETTER than a wink.'

"I think you refuse to admit your god condones slavery, because doing so would be an admission you are more moral than he is. And that conflicts with your Borg programming."

"You can't offend me. I never mix religion or politics with reality."

"You atheists wouldn't exist without God!"

"In this one, references to everything have been deleted."

"You say we atheists are going to Hell? Look at all the f**ks we give... Go ahead... Look at them all."

Needless to say, God forgot the legs.

"This'll show the Theology Department."

"I'm starting to prefer the ones who don't believe in me."

Corruption trial in the Vatican

Today's sermon: 'Do sin taxes violate the seperation of church & state?'

"I think you made your mistake right at the beginning!"

'So, I take it that diversity isn't a priority?'

Atheist Convention: 'I don't believe it!'

'If it's all the same to you, we'd prefer not to get involved.'

'I used to think I couldn't serve both God and Mammon, and then I discovered multitasking!'

"And lo, we made God in our own image.."

"Can atheists refuse to participate?"

'Doesn't this 'chosen people' thing sound a little nepotistic?'

I hear you're preaching godlessness, you little heathen. I'm preaching intellectual honesty. There is no proof of a Judeo Christian almighty. You might as well believe in Zeus or the spiritual powers of a raisin scone. Where do you think morality comes from? What do you think is the basis for our civil society? The almighty! All hail the raisin scone! HOJ.

Actual Results May Vary

'What did you say? 'The light is nothing but an ordinary streetlamp'? Oh no! My own son is an atheist??!'

Woman protesting to Free-Kirk pastor about a church organ

Basic Theology

"I have a warrant for the arrest of Sandro Botticelli."

"I gave him a public education Artie ol' boy. . . you should know by now that government schools are one of my best minion corporations!"

Blasphemer! Ignoramus. HOJ. Your anti-religious rants will lead to the breakdown of morality. The divine is our source of civilization and humanity. It's what separates us from lowly animals. That and our ability to turn worthless jungle into condos. You're playing dirty now, hairless one.

Liberals Ignore Science Too

God is dead.

"Let's face it - if your god existed, I'd been struck dead long ago for mocking her."

"Building a robot Pope was questionable to begin with, but why did we give him a laser-gun hand?"