Religion Debaters Gifts

'So, I take it that diversity isn't a priority?'

"Trust me Jesus, if you want to make a bigger impact work on being seeker friendly."

"Intelligent design...well, duh!"

"How was I supposed to know that the apple was a controlled substance?"

"You atheists wouldn't exist without God!"

"You can't offend me. I never mix religion or politics with reality."

"You say we atheists are going to Hell? Look at all the f**ks we give... Go ahead... Look at them all."

Needless to say, God forgot the legs.

"I'm starting to prefer the ones who don't believe in me."

Today's sermon: 'Do sin taxes violate the seperation of church & state?'

Corruption trial in the Vatican

'Ok Preacher, here's the deal. You back off I back off, and everyone is happy...'

"We Tell No One"

"I think you made your mistake right at the beginning!"

Atheist Convention: 'I don't believe it!'

'I used to think I couldn't serve both God and Mammon, and then I discovered multitasking!'

"And lo, we made God in our own image.."

'Doesn't this 'chosen people' thing sound a little nepotistic?'

Actual Results May Vary

'What did you say? 'The light is nothing but an ordinary streetlamp'? Oh no! My own son is an atheist??!'

Basic Theology

"I gave him a public education Artie ol' boy. . . you should know by now that government schools are one of my best minion corporations!"

Carl thought Jesus was the answer...

"Let's face it - if your god existed, I'd been struck dead long ago for mocking her."

God is dead.

"If I were your god, I'd have fact-checked this mess before publishing."

'And now he's a reactionary, and conformist.'

"The Bible does not say that!... And if it does, it's taken out of context!... And if it isn't, it's just a metaphor!... And if it's not, it's not a big deal!... And if it is, then that's just how things were done back then!... And if... er... shut up

"Building a robot Pope was questionable to begin with, but why did we give him a laser-gun hand?"