Spiritual Debater Gifts

'Ok Preacher, here's the deal. You back off I back off, and everyone is happy...'

'And now he's a reactionary, and conformist.'

'Today's sermon is on Eve and Adam....'

'Just ask yourself -- Are you better off now than you were two thousand years ago?'

"Trust me Jesus, if you want to make a bigger impact work on being seeker friendly."

"Intelligent design...well, duh!"

"You seem troubled, Pastor. Is anything worrying you...I mean aside from the sins of the world, the vanity of humankind, man's inhumanity to man..."

'You'll never believe this - they've found the actual body of Jesus!'

"How was I supposed to know that the apple was a controlled substance?"

"I see you're back from church. What was cherry-picked for you today?"

"Mrs. Marsha Mullhouse, of Kenosha, Wisconsin, asks, "Are You subject to the laws of physics, or are the laws of physics subject to You?"

"Do you think the flat earth society has members round the globe?"

'Are you sure You can be objective? -After all, You did CREATE them.'

"I think you refuse to admit your god condones slavery, because doing so would be an admission you are more moral than he is. And that conflicts with your Borg programming."

"Any distinguishing 'PARSONAL' characteristics?"

"I wonder how many people are claiming to be your messiah right now?"

"Mr. Pope, please give this summons to your boss. The prosecutor wants to know how god can allow so much misery."

"You atheists wouldn't exist without God!"

"If everything is God's will, tell me again why I need to study for exams?"

"He really isn't bad, per se, but he is kind of a jerk."

"You say we atheists are going to Hell? Look at all the f**ks we give... Go ahead... Look at them all."

A not-so-happy God, with the Humans, sticking an Eviction Notice to the Earth

"I'm an agnostic now that I've started having self doubts."

The only Universal Truths that all religions agree upon.

"This'll show the Theology Department."

"Having completed the formation of the earth, on the seventh day the Lord rested. Then, on the eighth day, the Lord said, 'Let there be problems.' And there were problems."

'Just one God? - But won't he be outnumbered?'

"I'm starting to prefer the ones who don't believe in me."

"Instead of Red Team and Blue Team, why don't we make it Good v. Evil?"

Today's sermon: 'Do sin taxes violate the seperation of church & state?'

Corruption trial in the Vatican

"Not that it's any of your business, but no, I wasn't kicked out! We had creative differences, that's all!"

'I'm all tired out from creating - let's just use NATURAL selection from now on.'

Worst. God. Ever.

"This is a little embarrassing to admit, but everything that happens happens for no real reason."