Divinity Debater Gifts

"Says WHO?"

"Would you hand me that?"

And on the Eighth Day, He invented those who believed he did it all in Seven.

'Oh yeah? So who died and made you God?'

"I'm an agnostic now that I've started having self doubts."

"I stand corrected..."

'Today's sermon is on Eve and Adam....'

"Chaplain, the lord should put warning labels on some of his creations."

'Just ask yourself -- Are you better off now than you were two thousand years ago?'

"Trust me Jesus, if you want to make a bigger impact work on being seeker friendly."

"Intelligent design...well, duh!"

'You'll never believe this - they've found the actual body of Jesus!'

"You seem troubled, Pastor. Is anything worrying you...I mean aside from the sins of the world, the vanity of humankind, man's inhumanity to man..."

"How was I supposed to know that the apple was a controlled substance?"

"I see you're back from church. What was cherry-picked for you today?"

"Mrs. Marsha Mullhouse, of Kenosha, Wisconsin, asks, "Are You subject to the laws of physics, or are the laws of physics subject to You?"

'Are you sure You can be objective? -After all, You did CREATE them.'

"Any distinguishing 'PARSONAL' characteristics?"

"I think you refuse to admit your god condones slavery, because doing so would be an admission you are more moral than he is. And that conflicts with your Borg programming."

"I wonder how many people are claiming to be your messiah right now?"

"If everything is God's will, tell me again why I need to study for exams?"

"He really isn't bad, per se, but he is kind of a jerk."

"Mr. Pope, please give this summons to your boss. The prosecutor wants to know how god can allow so much misery."

"You atheists wouldn't exist without God!"

"You say we atheists are going to Hell? Look at all the f**ks we give... Go ahead... Look at them all."

A not-so-happy God, with the Humans, sticking an Eviction Notice to the Earth

"Having completed the formation of the earth, on the seventh day the Lord rested. Then, on the eighth day, the Lord said, 'Let there be problems.' And there were problems."

"Instead of Red Team and Blue Team, why don't we make it Good v. Evil?"

'Just one God? - But won't he be outnumbered?'

Sermon - why our religion is really better than yours.

"I'm starting to prefer the ones who don't believe in me."

John Newman

'I'm all tired out from creating - let's just use NATURAL selection from now on.'

Corruption trial in the Vatican

'Ok Preacher, here's the deal. You back off I back off, and everyone is happy...'