Divine Intervention Debater Gifts

"Honey, could you grab the Bible? I need to double-check something."

"Chaplain, the lord should put warning labels on some of his creations."

'Today's sermon is on Eve and Adam....'

'Just ask yourself -- Are you better off now than you were two thousand years ago?'

"You seem troubled, Pastor. Is anything worrying you...I mean aside from the sins of the world, the vanity of humankind, man's inhumanity to man..."

"I see you're back from church. What was cherry-picked for you today?"

"Mrs. Marsha Mullhouse, of Kenosha, Wisconsin, asks, "Are You subject to the laws of physics, or are the laws of physics subject to You?"

'Are you sure You can be objective? -After all, You did CREATE them.'

"I wonder how many people are claiming to be your messiah right now?"

"Any distinguishing 'PARSONAL' characteristics?"

"If everything is God's will, tell me again why I need to study for exams?"

"He really isn't bad, per se, but he is kind of a jerk."

"Mr. Pope, please give this summons to your boss. The prosecutor wants to know how god can allow so much misery."

A not-so-happy God, with the Humans, sticking an Eviction Notice to the Earth

"I'm an agnostic now that I've started having self doubts."

"Having completed the formation of the earth, on the seventh day the Lord rested. Then, on the eighth day, the Lord said, 'Let there be problems.' And there were problems."

'Just one God? - But won't he be outnumbered?'

"Instead of Red Team and Blue Team, why don't we make it Good v. Evil?"

'I'm all tired out from creating - let's just use NATURAL selection from now on.'

"Just my luck."

"According to the breathalyzer, the wine definitely represents your blood."

"And on the seventh day, God 'choked,' and all hell broke loose."

Vicar prays for money for church repairs.

"This is a little embarrassing to admit, but everything that happens happens for no real reason."

"Yeah, it's a sweet boat Noah, but you're still gonna have to start over."

"I stand corrected..."

Remote-controlled Popemobile.

'Is this a 'cash for clunkers' deal?'

"Well, son, in a way, I suppose Jesus was a trust-fund baby."

'If we have everlasting life, what about entropy?'

"Hey, this is a good bit- did I say that?"

The real reason for the hole in the ozone layer.

'Oh, I believe in God -- I just think that he's overrated.'

"To find out if God exists let's ask an expert."

"For the last time- I can't Rapture you out to the Hamptons."