Divine Intervention Ponderers Gifts

'Oh Lord, not again!'

"Chaplain, the lord should put warning labels on some of his creations."

'Just one God? - But won't he be outnumbered?'

"And on the seventh day, God 'choked,' and all hell broke loose."

'What did He do before he was God?'

"According to the breathalyzer, the wine definitely represents your blood."

Vicar prays for money for church repairs.

"Just my luck."

Jesus wept

"From the looks of things, I shouldn't have rested on the seventh day."

"Well, son, in a way, I suppose Jesus was a trust-fund baby."

"Yeah, it's a sweet boat Noah, but you're still gonna have to start over."

'Is this a 'cash for clunkers' deal?'

Regular Confession and Express Booth.

"Honey, could you grab the Bible? I need to double-check something."

The real reason for the hole in the ozone layer.

'Hey, good news, we had a look at the X-rays. Turns out, God is on your side.'

"For the last time- I can't Rapture you out to the Hamptons."

'Entropy already? You just made it.'

Just a thought on nooses.

"Why corona? I thought they were getting a bit too cocky."

"All of my manifestations are currently busy however your prayer is important to me so please..."

"Oh, that's the problem - it was unplugged the whole time!"

'This message contains confidential and/or legally privileged information, unintended recipients may not use, copy or disclose any portion of this transmission.'

'Let's go home, coach. If God was going to intervene with a miracle and change the final score to save your job, it would have happened by now.'

'New Charismatic'

A Chariot of Fire Takes Elijah Up To Heaven (The Holy Bible).

God throwing a lifebelt.

'Now they're praying for the Sun to stand still - You really should have told them more about physics.'

"That's just so God."

Clergyman prays for divine intervention.

Lourdes Miracles.

One Way Arrow.