Heavenly Debater Gifts

'No, please, go on. It's so refreshing to talk to someone with an entirely different point of view.'

"On the other hand, may I make the case for a Republican Senate?"

I'm going to argue that free will should be considered a form of entrapment.

'Today's sermon is on Eve and Adam....'

'Just ask yourself -- Are you better off now than you were two thousand years ago?'

"You seem troubled, Pastor. Is anything worrying you...I mean aside from the sins of the world, the vanity of humankind, man's inhumanity to man..."

"Your assumption that a one in a million chance event MUST be a miracle shows you drastically underestimate the total number of regularly occurring events."

"How was I supposed to know that the apple was a controlled substance?"

"I see you're back from church. What was cherry-picked for you today?"

"Mrs. Marsha Mullhouse, of Kenosha, Wisconsin, asks, "Are You subject to the laws of physics, or are the laws of physics subject to You?"

'Are you sure You can be objective? -After all, You did CREATE them.'

"I think you refuse to admit your god condones slavery, because doing so would be an admission you are more moral than he is. And that conflicts with your Borg programming."

"I wonder how many people are claiming to be your messiah right now?"

"Any distinguishing 'PARSONAL' characteristics?"

"Mr. Pope, please give this summons to your boss. The prosecutor wants to know how god can allow so much misery."

"He really isn't bad, per se, but he is kind of a jerk."

"If everything is God's will, tell me again why I need to study for exams?"

"You say we atheists are going to Hell? Look at all the f**ks we give... Go ahead... Look at them all."

A not-so-happy God, with the Humans, sticking an Eviction Notice to the Earth

"Leave it you guys! We have this EVERY-SINGLE-TIME we go anywhere!!"

"I'm an agnostic now that I've started having self doubts."

"Having completed the formation of the earth, on the seventh day the Lord rested. Then, on the eighth day, the Lord said, 'Let there be problems.' And there were problems."

"I'm starting to prefer the ones who don't believe in me."

'Just one God? - But won't he be outnumbered?'

"Instead of Red Team and Blue Team, why don't we make it Good v. Evil?"

'Ok Preacher, here's the deal. You back off I back off, and everyone is happy...'

'I'm all tired out from creating - let's just use NATURAL selection from now on.'

"Not that it's any of your business, but no, I wasn't kicked out! We had creative differences, that's all!"

Corruption trial in the Vatican

"I don't see why divine intervention and government intervention have to be mutually exclusive."

"This is a little embarrassing to admit, but everything that happens happens for no real reason."

"I think you made your mistake right at the beginning!"

"So Jesus, what denomination are you?"

Atheist Convention: 'I don't believe it!'

'I used to think I couldn't serve both God and Mammon, and then I discovered multitasking!'