Celestial Debater Gifts

"You sinned! I'm not going to argue with you about it!"

"I'll bet your're a Taurus. Right?"

'Today's sermon is on Eve and Adam....'

'Just ask yourself -- Are you better off now than you were two thousand years ago?'

"How was I supposed to know that the apple was a controlled substance?"

"You seem troubled, Pastor. Is anything worrying you...I mean aside from the sins of the world, the vanity of humankind, man's inhumanity to man..."

"I see you're back from church. What was cherry-picked for you today?"

"Mrs. Marsha Mullhouse, of Kenosha, Wisconsin, asks, "Are You subject to the laws of physics, or are the laws of physics subject to You?"

'Pre-existing conditions - What did YOU die of?'

"...Ooh, I wanna know more about your dark side!"

'Are you sure You can be objective? -After all, You did CREATE them.'

"I wonder how many people are claiming to be your messiah right now?"

"Any distinguishing 'PARSONAL' characteristics?"

'I can't stand his 'holier than thou' attitude.'

"If everything is God's will, tell me again why I need to study for exams?"

"It's a good show, but I'm pretty sure it's a limited series."

"Mr. Pope, please give this summons to your boss. The prosecutor wants to know how god can allow so much misery."

"You say we atheists are going to Hell? Look at all the f**ks we give... Go ahead... Look at them all."

"I'm an agnostic now that I've started having self doubts."

Needless to say, God forgot the legs.

A not-so-happy God, with the Humans, sticking an Eviction Notice to the Earth

"Having completed the formation of the earth, on the seventh day the Lord rested. Then, on the eighth day, the Lord said, 'Let there be problems.' And there were problems."

'Just one God? - But won't he be outnumbered?'

"I'm starting to prefer the ones who don't believe in me."

"Instead of Red Team and Blue Team, why don't we make it Good v. Evil?"

"Not that it's any of your business, but no, I wasn't kicked out! We had creative differences, that's all!"

'I'm all tired out from creating - let's just use NATURAL selection from now on.'

'Ok Preacher, here's the deal. You back off I back off, and everyone is happy...'

"This is a little embarrassing to admit, but everything that happens happens for no real reason."

'No, please, go on. It's so refreshing to talk to someone with an entirely different point of view.'

Atheist Convention: 'I don't believe it!'

"Say what you like about Hell, at least they have solid floors."