Cosmic Debater Gifts

Nature vs. Nietzsche.

'Today's sermon is on Eve and Adam....'

'Just ask yourself -- Are you better off now than you were two thousand years ago?'

"You seem troubled, Pastor. Is anything worrying you...I mean aside from the sins of the world, the vanity of humankind, man's inhumanity to man..."

'You'll never believe this - they've found the actual body of Jesus!'

"Space is curved and time is relative? Yeah, OK...I'm calling you a cab right now, buddy."

"I see you're back from church. What was cherry-picked for you today?"

"Mrs. Marsha Mullhouse, of Kenosha, Wisconsin, asks, "Are You subject to the laws of physics, or are the laws of physics subject to You?"

'Are you sure You can be objective? -After all, You did CREATE them.'

"I wonder how many people are claiming to be your messiah right now?"

"So have you ever stopped to ask yourself: If he really knew the secrets of the universe, would he be living in a damn cave?"

"Any distinguishing 'PARSONAL' characteristics?"

"He really isn't bad, per se, but he is kind of a jerk."

"Mr. Pope, please give this summons to your boss. The prosecutor wants to know how god can allow so much misery."

"If everything is God's will, tell me again why I need to study for exams?"

Needless to say, God forgot the legs.

A not-so-happy God, with the Humans, sticking an Eviction Notice to the Earth

Flat-earthers and round-earthers reach a compromise.

The only Universal Truths that all religions agree upon.

Stegosaurus (say the evolutionists). Nonsense (say the creationists).

"Having completed the formation of the earth, on the seventh day the Lord rested. Then, on the eighth day, the Lord said, 'Let there be problems.' And there were problems."

"Instead of Red Team and Blue Team, why don't we make it Good v. Evil?"

'Just one God? - But won't he be outnumbered?'

''Science is nothing but trained and organized common sense' Thomas Huxley, 1825-1895.'

'I'm all tired out from creating - let's just use NATURAL selection from now on.'

''Relativity,' you say? — Well, it can't be any worse than your 'speed bump' theory.'

"This is a little embarrassing to admit, but everything that happens happens for no real reason."

"And today if the prosecutor says 'Liar, liar, pants on fire,' do not turn around to check."

"I think you made your mistake right at the beginning!"

Popular and Unpopular Science

'I don't know - asceticism just doesn't seem like ENOUGH any more,'

"Well, son, in a way, I suppose Jesus was a trust-fund baby."

'Science versus religion?'

"Yes, but can your philosophical speculations on existence also be relative to why I crossed the road?"

Doubts about Astrazeneca vaccine