Universe Debater Gifts

Astronomers argue theories of the Universe.

'Today's sermon is on Eve and Adam....'

Dialogue

'Just ask yourself -- Are you better off now than you were two thousand years ago?'

"O.K., O.K., people - we're not workshopping these, they're already set in stone."

"Now that's a win."

"You seem troubled, Pastor. Is anything worrying you...I mean aside from the sins of the world, the vanity of humankind, man's inhumanity to man..."

"Strawman argument terrorises conversation... News at eleven."

"I see you're back from church. What was cherry-picked for you today?"

"Mainstream? Who's to say what's mainstream?"

"Mrs. Marsha Mullhouse, of Kenosha, Wisconsin, asks, "Are You subject to the laws of physics, or are the laws of physics subject to You?"

"Do you think the flat earth society has members round the globe?"

'Are you sure You can be objective? -After all, You did CREATE them.'

"Any distinguishing 'PARSONAL' characteristics?"

"If everything is God's will, tell me again why I need to study for exams?"

'I'm terribly worried, Doctor - he doesn't talk back to Bill O'Reilly any more.'

"On the contrary, Bosworth, it's YOU who has lost all perspective."

The Church of DanaeDanaeism: 'And let such sacrilege go uncontested? Never! I demand equal time for alternate explanations of things.'

"Ever notice how grateful people are when you present them with facts contrary to their beliefs?"

"You can't offend me. I never mix religion or politics with reality."

'I'm now going to open the floor to questions.'

Needless to say, God forgot the legs.

Flat-earthers and round-earthers reach a compromise.

Like Minded

A not-so-happy God, with the Humans, sticking an Eviction Notice to the Earth

"I'm an agnostic now that I've started having self doubts."

The only Universal Truths that all religions agree upon.

Stegosaurus (say the evolutionists). Nonsense (say the creationists).

'Yeah? -- Well, there's a thin line between being a strict constructionist and being a stupid jerk!'

"Having completed the formation of the earth, on the seventh day the Lord rested. Then, on the eighth day, the Lord said, 'Let there be problems.' And there were problems."