Heavenly Debater Pillows

'No, please, go on. It's so refreshing to talk to someone with an entirely different point of view.'

"On the other hand, may I make the case for a Republican Senate?"

'Today's sermon is on Eve and Adam....'

'Just ask yourself -- Are you better off now than you were two thousand years ago?'

"Your assumption that a one in a million chance event MUST be a miracle shows you drastically underestimate the total number of regularly occurring events."

"You seem troubled, Pastor. Is anything worrying you...I mean aside from the sins of the world, the vanity of humankind, man's inhumanity to man..."

"How was I supposed to know that the apple was a controlled substance?"

"I see you're back from church. What was cherry-picked for you today?"

"Mrs. Marsha Mullhouse, of Kenosha, Wisconsin, asks, "Are You subject to the laws of physics, or are the laws of physics subject to You?"

'Are you sure You can be objective? -After all, You did CREATE them.'

"I wonder how many people are claiming to be your messiah right now?"

"Any distinguishing 'PARSONAL' characteristics?"

"If everything is God's will, tell me again why I need to study for exams?"

"Mr. Pope, please give this summons to your boss. The prosecutor wants to know how god can allow so much misery."

"You say we atheists are going to Hell? Look at all the f**ks we give... Go ahead... Look at them all."

"I'm an agnostic now that I've started having self doubts."

"Leave it you guys! We have this EVERY-SINGLE-TIME we go anywhere!!"

A not-so-happy God, with the Humans, sticking an Eviction Notice to the Earth

"Having completed the formation of the earth, on the seventh day the Lord rested. Then, on the eighth day, the Lord said, 'Let there be problems.' And there were problems."

"Instead of Red Team and Blue Team, why don't we make it Good v. Evil?"

'Just one God? - But won't he be outnumbered?'

"I'm starting to prefer the ones who don't believe in me."

"Not that it's any of your business, but no, I wasn't kicked out! We had creative differences, that's all!"

'Ok Preacher, here's the deal. You back off I back off, and everyone is happy...'

'I'm all tired out from creating - let's just use NATURAL selection from now on.'

"I don't see why divine intervention and government intervention have to be mutually exclusive."

Corruption trial in the Vatican

"This is a little embarrassing to admit, but everything that happens happens for no real reason."

"I think you made your mistake right at the beginning!"

"So Jesus, what denomination are you?"

Atheist Convention: 'I don't believe it!'

'I used to think I couldn't serve both God and Mammon, and then I discovered multitasking!'

'Doesn't this 'chosen people' thing sound a little nepotistic?'

"I stand corrected..."

"Well, son, in a way, I suppose Jesus was a trust-fund baby."