Miracle Debater Gifts

"Proving Jesus lived is harder than finding footprints in the water he walked on."

"Your assumption that a one in a million chance event MUST be a miracle shows you drastically underestimate the total number of regularly occurring events."

"I don't see why divine intervention and government intervention have to be mutually exclusive."

'Today's sermon is on Eve and Adam....'

'Just ask yourself -- Are you better off now than you were two thousand years ago?'

"O.K., O.K., people - we're not workshopping these, they're already set in stone."

Dialogue

'HA Ha! One good idea doesn't make a genius!'

'You'll never believe this - they've found the actual body of Jesus!'

"Now that's a win."

"How was I supposed to know that the apple was a controlled substance?"

"You seem troubled, Pastor. Is anything worrying you...I mean aside from the sins of the world, the vanity of humankind, man's inhumanity to man..."

"Strawman argument terrorises conversation... News at eleven."

"I see you're back from church. What was cherry-picked for you today?"

"Mrs. Marsha Mullhouse, of Kenosha, Wisconsin, asks, "Are You subject to the laws of physics, or are the laws of physics subject to You?"

"Mainstream? Who's to say what's mainstream?"

'Are you sure You can be objective? -After all, You did CREATE them.'

"I think you refuse to admit your god condones slavery, because doing so would be an admission you are more moral than he is. And that conflicts with your Borg programming."

"Any distinguishing 'PARSONAL' characteristics?"

"I wonder how many people are claiming to be your messiah right now?"

"Mr. Pope, please give this summons to your boss. The prosecutor wants to know how god can allow so much misery."

"He really isn't bad, per se, but he is kind of a jerk."

"If everything is God's will, tell me again why I need to study for exams?"

"Ever notice how grateful people are when you present them with facts contrary to their beliefs?"

Oz Debating Society. You can't refute everything I say just by call it a "straw man" argument.

The Church of DanaeDanaeism: 'And let such sacrilege go uncontested? Never! I demand equal time for alternate explanations of things.'

"On the contrary, Bosworth, it's YOU who has lost all perspective."

'I'm now going to open the floor to questions.'

"You say we atheists are going to Hell? Look at all the f**ks we give... Go ahead... Look at them all."

A not-so-happy God, with the Humans, sticking an Eviction Notice to the Earth

Debating Society. I can accept that money is speech as long as we can agree that some spending is like yelling fire in a theater.

"I'm an agnostic now that I've started having self doubts."

A bunch of global warming skeptics want to join eco club. It's a school organization. You have to let them in. But they just want to harass us with selective facts! Today: Eco club. So? Debate is good. You have :An Inconvenient Truth" to counter their arguments. Oh. Great. Now we'll have to read it.

'If you start granting amnesty for people for following their conscience, pretty soon everyone will be following his conscience.'

Like Minded