Faith Debaters Pillows

'What proof do we have there is a DOG?'

"This'll show the Theology Department."

I hear you're an atheist now. It's the thing to be. What about me? What about you? I have the power to destroy you. So. I am your god! Rethinking position.

"Trust me Jesus, if you want to make a bigger impact work on being seeker friendly."

"Intelligent design...well, duh!"

'You'll never believe this - they've found the actual body of Jesus!'

"How was I supposed to know that the apple was a controlled substance?"

"I think you refuse to admit your god condones slavery, because doing so would be an admission you are more moral than he is. And that conflicts with your Borg programming."

"I wonder how many people are claiming to be your messiah right now?"

"You atheists wouldn't exist without God!"

"Mr. Pope, please give this summons to your boss. The prosecutor wants to know how god can allow so much misery."

"You say we atheists are going to Hell? Look at all the f**ks we give... Go ahead... Look at them all."

"But, Jesus - you can't become an atheist."

The only Universal Truths that all religions agree upon.

"I'm starting to prefer the ones who don't believe in me."

Today's sermon: 'Do sin taxes violate the seperation of church & state?'

Corruption trial in the Vatican

'Ok Preacher, here's the deal. You back off I back off, and everyone is happy...'

"I think you made your mistake right at the beginning!"

Atheist Convention: 'I don't believe it!'

'So, I take it that diversity isn't a priority?'

'I used to think I couldn't serve both God and Mammon, and then I discovered multitasking!'

"Can atheists refuse to participate?"

"Well, son, in a way, I suppose Jesus was a trust-fund baby."

Equal Time for All Christians

'Doesn't this 'chosen people' thing sound a little nepotistic?'

I hear you're preaching godlessness, you little heathen. I'm preaching intellectual honesty. There is no proof of a Judeo Christian almighty. You might as well believe in Zeus or the spiritual powers of a raisin scone. Where do you think morality comes from? What do you think is the basis for our civil society? The almighty! All hail the raisin scone! HOJ.

"And lo, we made God in our own image.."

Actual Results May Vary

Woman protesting to Free-Kirk pastor about a church organ

'What did you say? 'The light is nothing but an ordinary streetlamp'? Oh no! My own son is an atheist??!'

"Hey, this is a good bit- did I say that?"

"Well...this constant badness is just sooo wearisome...."

"To find out if God exists let's ask an expert."

Basic Theology