Theological Debaters Pillows

"Trust me Jesus, if you want to make a bigger impact work on being seeker friendly."

"Intelligent design...well, duh!"

'You'll never believe this - they've found the actual body of Jesus!'

Changing Minds

"How was I supposed to know that the apple was a controlled substance?"

"Do you think the flat earth society has members round the globe?"

"I wonder how many people are claiming to be your messiah right now?"

"Mr. Pope, please give this summons to your boss. The prosecutor wants to know how god can allow so much misery."

"You atheists wouldn't exist without God!"

"You say we atheists are going to Hell? Look at all the f**ks we give... Go ahead... Look at them all."

"I'm starting to prefer the ones who don't believe in me."

Today's sermon: 'Do sin taxes violate the seperation of church & state?'

With Liberty handcuffed,,the thought police pursue happiness,

Corruption trial in the Vatican

"I think you made your mistake right at the beginning!"

Atheist Convention: 'I don't believe it!'

'I used to think I couldn't serve both God and Mammon, and then I discovered multitasking!'

'So, I take it that diversity isn't a priority?'

"Well, son, in a way, I suppose Jesus was a trust-fund baby."

"And lo, we made God in our own image.."

'Doesn't this 'chosen people' thing sound a little nepotistic?'

Actual Results May Vary

Woman protesting to Free-Kirk pastor about a church organ

'What did you say? 'The light is nothing but an ordinary streetlamp'? Oh no! My own son is an atheist??!'

"Hey, this is a good bit- did I say that?"

Basic Theology

"To find out if God exists let's ask an expert."

"I gave him a public education Artie ol' boy. . . you should know by now that government schools are one of my best minion corporations!"

Capital punishment right or wrong? For men or women?