Theology Debaters Pillows

"So, were you nervous when you met the Pope?"

"Yesterday, militant atheists killed moderate atheists for not being atheist enough."

"So what if Jesus was sent here to suffer and die... We all do that."

"Trust me Jesus, if you want to make a bigger impact work on being seeker friendly."

"Intelligent design...well, duh!"

'A religious zealot denounces a toaster for working on the Sabbath'

'You'll never believe this - they've found the actual body of Jesus!'

"How was I supposed to know that the apple was a controlled substance?"

"I wonder how many people are claiming to be your messiah right now?"

"You atheists wouldn't exist without God!"

"Mr. Pope, please give this summons to your boss. The prosecutor wants to know how god can allow so much misery."

"You say we atheists are going to Hell? Look at all the f**ks we give... Go ahead... Look at them all."

Needless to say, God forgot the legs.

The only Universal Truths that all religions agree upon.

"I'm starting to prefer the ones who don't believe in me."

Today's sermon: 'Do sin taxes violate the seperation of church & state?'

Corruption trial in the Vatican

"I think you made your mistake right at the beginning!"

'So, I take it that diversity isn't a priority?'

Atheist Convention: 'I don't believe it!'

'I used to think I couldn't serve both God and Mammon, and then I discovered multitasking!'

'Doesn't this 'chosen people' thing sound a little nepotistic?'

"Well, son, in a way, I suppose Jesus was a trust-fund baby."

"And lo, we made God in our own image.."

Actual Results May Vary

Woman protesting to Free-Kirk pastor about a church organ

'What did you say? 'The light is nothing but an ordinary streetlamp'? Oh no! My own son is an atheist??!'

"Hey, this is a good bit- did I say that?"

"To find out if God exists let's ask an expert."

Basic Theology