Faith Discussant Gifts

"Trust me Jesus, if you want to make a bigger impact work on being seeker friendly."

"Intelligent design...well, duh!"

'You'll never believe this - they've found the actual body of Jesus!'

"How was I supposed to know that the apple was a controlled substance?"

"You atheists wouldn't exist without God!"

"You say we atheists are going to Hell? Look at all the f**ks we give... Go ahead... Look at them all."

'Confusionism'

"I'm starting to prefer the ones who don't believe in me."

"Nonsense - we're far less religious than you are."

Corruption trial in the Vatican

'Ok Preacher, here's the deal. You back off I back off, and everyone is happy...'

Today's sermon: 'Do sin taxes violate the seperation of church & state?'

"I think you made your mistake right at the beginning!"

Soren Kierkegaard

'I used to think I couldn't serve both God and Mammon, and then I discovered multitasking!'

'So, I take it that diversity isn't a priority?'

Atheist Convention: 'I don't believe it!'

"And lo, we made God in our own image.."

'Doesn't this 'chosen people' thing sound a little nepotistic?'

Actual Results May Vary

'What did you say? 'The light is nothing but an ordinary streetlamp'? Oh no! My own son is an atheist??!'

"What happens to our soul if we're taxed out of existence."

"I gave him a public education Artie ol' boy. . . you should know by now that government schools are one of my best minion corporations!"

"Even Voldemort wouldn't drown a whole planet."

Basic Theology

Atheist United - A Non-Prophet Organization

'Oh, I believe in God -- I just think that he's overrated.'

Carl thought Jesus was the answer...

God is dead.