Fairytale Commentator Gifts

The modern version.

A Fairytale Update

'Assuming their porridge was poured at the same time, how could it then be too hot, too cold and just right?'

Fairy Library - Frontispiece to Jack and the Beanstalk

Here be dragons.

"Snow White! It's the dancing, singing woodland creatures wondering if you want to go down the pub."

Password Error: Snow White and the seven dwarfs not recognised as eight characters.

'If I told you what I wished for, you'd probably slap me.'

"Well, that one got away."

'What do you mean, you're tired of the rat race?'

"If you insist on doing all the voices, Dad. Don't you think father bear should have a deeper voice than Goldilocks?"

"Tonight I'm getting together with pals to sit around and croak."

Hansel and Gretel Day School.

The Frog Prince

'Don't let the photo put you off, it was taken when he was under the spell of a wicked witch.'

This is the new Director's Cut version of Hansel and Gretel...with additional scenes and three alternative endings!!!

One of the Three Little Pigs reaches puberty.

'Actually, there's no interview necessary. Just pull out the sword and the job's yours.'

"When are you going to stop blaming everything on Goldilocks?"

"Papa Bear was too much, Mama Bear wasn't enough, and I always had to be just right."

'Yes Mr Hare, you were right: He IS on steroids!'

Kissable Frogs in Your Area

A Witch Consults Her Magic Mirror

"I never let my hair down on the first date."

Many princes attempted to wake Sleeping Beauty, before one of them simply kissed her'

Midnight Basketball

'See, Mother - I knew those genetically modified beans would come good!'

"Your tea party numbers are way down this month Jerry."

“It’s the only way we can get him to kiss her.”

Rapunzcow