Fairytale Philosopher Gifts

'The prince and the princess were deeply in love...they were married and they lived happily ever after...for about two months.'

'Assuming their porridge was poured at the same time, how could it then be too hot, too cold and just right?'

"Little help?"

The Frog Prince

Creativity

'Wait a minute! What if this isn't just a puddle?! What if it's a huge, furious hibernating snowman?'

Updated Fairy Tales. Having all of them around sure sweetened my stimulus check!

Kissable Frogs in Your Area

"The mad king ruled by chaos and corruption. He pitted everyone against each other, and they all lived divisively ever after. The end."

'Mrs Witch, you're being accused of using a poisoned apple to send a young girl into a death-like sleep. I'm placing you under arrest for the possession of illegal drugs.'

“It’s the only way we can get him to kiss her.”

Rapunzcow

"This is a little awkward, but you've been our guest for a while now, and we all have work in the morning..."

Romance is more difficult for robots than it is for people. Sure, we can check for compatibility by comparing operating systems but until battery technology improves, all our relationships will be on-again, off-again. Worst of all, we can't handle passion. When the sparks are flying a romance blowup will follow.

Clouds

"I don't see how pulling out a piece of fruit from a pie necessarily validates Jack Horner's self-worth."

I think my brother Lars is trying to steal away my girlfriend, Dr. Kapuchnik. But she's imaginary, AL. He has very low standards.

"How do you know if you're really in love, Randy?"

'I suspect the cow jumping over the moon is an illusion or swamp gas.'

"Love comes and goes, Janet, but this is true co-dependency!"

"Then I'll huff and I'll puff..."

'What's all this 'naughty or nice' jazz? ? Haven't you ever heard of situational ethics?'

'Where are all these people who lived happily ever after?'

'Rapunzel, Rapunzel, let down your...Hey!'

This wasn't quite the fairytale ending Colin had anticipated.

The dark side of the moon

"A guy can fall in love with a smile, then make the mistake of marrying the whole girl."

'In another universe parallel to our own.'

"What if we could see five dimensions?"

"I can't live in a glen that has such a narrow definition of what it is to be elfin."

The little engine that coulda woulda shoulda

'I don't care if I have been here for a hundred years! What kind of pervert kisses a girl while she's sleeping?!'

"I appreciate your offer, but I was really hoping to marry a doctor."

'I believe in kizmet and it is our destiny to be friends for life.'

If it were today. . .