Fairytale Writer Gifts

'The premium is on the high side, but this policy allows you unlimited 'Nibbling Children' claims.'

“It’s the only way we can get him to kiss her.”

"This is a little awkward, but you've been our guest for a while now, and we all have work in the morning..."

The Frog Prince

"Then I'll huff and I'll puff..."

'Don't talk to me about your kids eating you out of house and home!'

'Mrs Witch, you're being accused of using a poisoned apple to send a young girl into a death-like sleep. I'm placing you under arrest for the possession of illegal drugs.'

Alexa, Alexa, on the shelf, am I still the hottest MILF?

A fairy with wand and crown in pink tutu

A Fairytale Update

"I got super baked in the shire and accidentally recruited these four little weirdos for the most important mission of all time."

'We're gonna need a bigger moat...!'

J. R. R. Tolkien

"Snow White! It's the dancing, singing woodland creatures wondering if you want to go down the pub."

Password Error: Snow White and the seven dwarfs not recognised as eight characters.

'This wasn't quite the fairytale ending that Colin had anticipated...'

"Well, that one got away."

'Being a superhero doesn't mean that everything about me is super you know!'

Elfian lady grilling on mushroom: 'Summertime in the Enchanted Forest'.

Home Sweet Home

"Go ahead. This one seems too arrogant."

"If you insist on doing all the voices, Dad. Don't you think father bear should have a deeper voice than Goldilocks?"

'What do you mean, you're tired of the rat race?'

'Don't let the photo put you off, it was taken when he was under the spell of a wicked witch.'

Three lanes of traffic with the first two lanes crowded with turtles. The third lane (to the left) a couple rabbits speeding along without any traffic. An easy pass sign has carrots replacing dollars.

One of the Three Little Pigs reaches puberty.

This is the new Director's Cut version of Hansel and Gretel...with additional scenes and three alternative endings!!!

'Good work pulling the sword from the stone. Now, how 'bout loosening the lid on the magic pickle jar?'

"Tonight I'm getting together with pals to sit around and croak."

Hansel and Gretel Day School.

'Look, you're just going to have to cut back. Times have changed. . . Today's kids are full of hydrogenated oils, trans fats, corn syrup, and all kinds of preservatives.'

A knight sent to kill a dragon armed with a fly swatter

"When are you going to stop blaming everything on Goldilocks?"

Wicca Heritage Centre: Hansel and Gretel stayed here.

"Papa Bear was too much, Mama Bear wasn't enough, and I always had to be just right."