Fairytale Writers Gifts

'Bringing your kids to work with you is one of our major perks.'

A fairy with wand and crown in pink tutu

A Fairytale Update

"I got super baked in the shire and accidentally recruited these four little weirdos for the most important mission of all time."

'We're gonna need a bigger moat...!'

J. R. R. Tolkien

Password Error: Snow White and the seven dwarfs not recognised as eight characters.

"Snow White! It's the dancing, singing woodland creatures wondering if you want to go down the pub."

Home Sweet Home

"Well, that one got away."

'Being a superhero doesn't mean that everything about me is super you know!'

So I guess the moral of Hansel and Gretel is always carry your cell phone!

'What do you mean, you're tired of the rat race?'

"If you insist on doing all the voices, Dad. Don't you think father bear should have a deeper voice than Goldilocks?"

This is the new Director's Cut version of Hansel and Gretel...with additional scenes and three alternative endings!!!

'Don't let the photo put you off, it was taken when he was under the spell of a wicked witch.'

'Good work pulling the sword from the stone. Now, how 'bout loosening the lid on the magic pickle jar?'

Hansel and Gretel Day School.

The Frog Prince

One of the Three Little Pigs reaches puberty.

'Look, you're just going to have to cut back. Times have changed. . . Today's kids are full of hydrogenated oils, trans fats, corn syrup, and all kinds of preservatives.'

A knight sent to kill a dragon armed with a fly swatter

"When are you going to stop blaming everything on Goldilocks?"

"Papa Bear was too much, Mama Bear wasn't enough, and I always had to be just right."

Wicca Heritage Centre: Hansel and Gretel stayed here.

"If she thinks I'm just gonna come running on home, wagging my tail behind me..."

Through the Looking Glass - The Lion and the Unicorn Fight

'I suppose you think that's funny.'

Updated Fairy Tales. Having all of them around sure sweetened my stimulus check!

'MUM, go and get Daddy, there's another knight coming: This is so much fun!'

Kissable Frogs in Your Area

"My favorite part of the story was when Prince Charming kissed Sleeping Beauty and she totally rebooted."

Bedtime Stories with Gordon Ramsay

"To begin with, I would like to express my sincere thanks and deep appreciation for the opportunity to meet with you. While there are still profound differences between us, I think the very fact of my presence here today is a major breakthrough."

"Take the picture, dam it, take the picture!"