Fantasy Author Gifts

"Do you know a good taxidermist?"

J. R. R. Tolkien

"Ha! Fooled ya! I'm over here now. Nyah, nyah!"

Lord of the Rings: Two Towels

'Sorry, we can't offer you a job but we would like to publish your CV.'

'MUM, go and get Daddy, there's another knight coming: This is so much fun!'

Sir Terry Pratchett

"It's amazing, Darlin', just how fast the kids grow up!"

"How can you be out of wings?"

I should be a writer when I grow up...

"Have you been on the moon again, young man?"

"Thor! I am Thor! Ha. Just kidding. I'm Tom the Seagull."

King Arthur on the lake trying to open letters when the lady of the lake offers a letter opener.

'Think I preferred the old Irish barman.'

Seagiraffes

Meet Stephen Krkzk Author of 'Why Conspiracy Theories Are Nonsense'

'That's not really what I meant by 'let your hair down', Rapunzel.'

A fairy with wand and crown in pink tutu

Alien David statue

The Fourth Little Pig

"Either that's Marmaduke with a lizard's head in front of us, or I really mixed up my meds."

Bird feeding chick that is nesting in a knight's helmet

'R2-D2 is not in. Please leave a message after the beep-wheep-zip-booop ...'

It's not because I'm nervous. The reason I'm not eating is because I really do have butterflies in my stomach.

"Congratulations, Amruk. You prove they do exist."

Pinocchio's nose used by cat as a scratching post

"I got super baked in the shire and accidentally recruited these four little weirdos for the most important mission of all time."

'Me, I don't spend my pocket money: I hoard it...'

The tooth fairy.

"This brew is quite hoppy - they must of added too much toad."

"You left this on our ship."

The Ferocious Viking Wiener Dog

Polar Bear ice fishing through igloo.

"Well, what did you expect? They were both missing vital organs."

"Go away, he's not done playing Cowboys and Indians yet."